¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why do you think child abuse is an overlooked crime in some countries?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹®
2022-11-23 1523

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First of all, most people consider children belong to their parents. Whether parents punish physically, the majority think it's their love. Also, they don't have much attention to others because they are busy making a living. So, I child abuse is overlooked especially in poverty nations. Living a day is more urgent than caring their kids and protecting children's right. Moreover, it is very hard to classify the punishment for education and child abuse with current laws. Actually, when someone accuse parents with child abuse, it is more likely to solve nothing. Even though the police office visits the house to check that there are problems, most officers just go back just giving some warnings. I agree that the child's right improved high than last few years. But the awareness that caring child is that house' jurisdiction makes child leave alone. The law should be strengthened and attention to our neighbor kids is essential. I hope that every kid live happy and healthy.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Mary. What about you? Do you think you had a happy childhood?

First of all, most people consider children belong to their parents. 
>>> correct
>>> OR: First of all, most people would think children belong to their parents.   
Whether parents punish physically, the majority think it's their love. 
>>>  correct  
Also, they don't have much attention to others because they are busy making a living. 
>>> OR: Also, they don't give much attention to others because they are busy making a living.  
So, I child abuse is overlooked especially in poverty nations. 
>>>  So, I think child abuse is overlooked especially in poor nations. 
>>> OR: So, I think child abuse is overlooked especially in nations under poverty.  
Living a day is more urgent than caring their kids and protecting children's right. 
>>> OR: Living each day is more a priority than caring for or protecting their children's right.  
Moreover, it is very hard to classify the punishment for education and child abuse with current laws. 
>>>  correct 
Actually, when someone accuse parents with child abuse, it is more likely to solve nothing. 
>>>  correct 
Even though the police office visits the house to check that there are problems, most officers just go back just giving some warnings. 
>>>  OR: Even though the police officer visits the house to check and see that there are problems, most officers just go back only giving some warnings.  
I agree that the child's right improved high than last few years.
 >>I agree that the child's right has improved higher than the last few years.  
But the awareness that caring child is that house' jurisdiction makes child leave alone. 
>>But the awareness that caring for a child is that house' jurisdiction makes the child live alone.    
The law should be strengthened and attention to our neighbor kids is essential. 
>>>   correct
I hope that every kid live happy and healthy.
>>>   I hope that every kid lives happy and healthy.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120015 Some people feel unsafe either staying at home or going out.... ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 0
120014 What do you shop for always? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 2
120013 Do you think getting old is a good thing or a bad thing? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 403
120012 How do you keep in touch with your relatives and friends? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-06-21 484
120011 Why do you think former president Moon Jae-in¡¯s nuclear... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 467
120010 6/20 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 672
120009 What is your opinion of ¡°job security¡±? How do you define... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 540
120008 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 574
120007 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 2
120006 Do you want a busy leisure time or a relaxed one? Answer in a... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 909
120005 Do you prefer living in the city or in the country? Why? Do you... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 727
120004 favorite place in my city ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 783
120003 RSVP ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 644
120002 Are there any activities that you used to do but don\'t do... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 1
120001 Describe the best hotel that you have ever stayed at? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 2
120000 self introduction ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 709
119999 What are your favorite foods for breakfast, lunch and dinner? ÇÑ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 391
119998 homework ¿ø*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 802
119997 John Sculley said•• ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 281
119996 What holiday do you think should be removed from your country... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-20 382

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04