¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why do you think work-life balance is important?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹®
2022-11-19 1053

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First of all, we have to think about the reason why we have a job. I think job makes own's life more energetic. Also, we can feel that we are essential members of society getting job. Because having job means that utilizes own's ability and it relates to make a living. As a result, I think job is important but it's supplementary one in our life. We have job to make comfortable and meaningful life. So, work-life balance is very important. If we got so much stress because of work, it is meaningless. However, Korea's work circumstance is strict and stressful due to working time and order of rank. As I know, people in foreign do their work in fixed working time whether there are lots of things they have to do and equal order system makes company effective. That's why they can separate work and life well. Spending time with family is more valuable than doing their work. Although, Korean know that fact, but the system isn't helpful. So, law about working time and salary is really needed.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Mary. 

First of all, we have to think about the reason why we have a job. 
>>>  correct
I think job makes own's life more energetic. 
>>> OR:  I think the job makes one's life more energetic/meaningful.     
Also, we can feel that we are essential members of society getting job. 
>>> correct    
Because having job means that utilizes own's ability and it relates to make a living. 
>>Because having job means that one utilizes his/her ability and it relates to making a living.     
As a result, I think job is important but it's supplementary one in our life. 
>>>  correct
>>> OR: As a result, I think job is important but it's a supplementary to one's life. 
We have job to make comfortable and meaningful life. 
>>We have a job to make a comfortable and meaningful life.     
So, work-life balance is very important. 
>>> correct    
If we got so much stress because of work, it is meaningless. 
>>> correct        
However, Korea's work circumstance is strict and stressful due to working time and order of rank. 
>>> correct        
As I know, people in foreign do their work in fixed working time whether there are lots of things they have to do and equal order system makes company effective. 
>>> correct       
That's why they can separate work and life well. 
>>> correct    
Spending time with family is more valuable than doing their work.
>>> correct    
Although, Korean know that fact, but the system isn't helpful. 
>>> Although Korean know that fact, the system isn't helpful.     
So, law about working time and salary is really needed.
>>> correct         
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123287 Homework~~ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-10-30 1
123286 Homework~~ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-10-30 2099
123285 Travel ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-30 1
123284 What type of transportation do you prefer? ½Å*°ü ¿Ï·á 2022-10-30 3
123283 In your opinion, why does the season change? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-10-29 1603
123282 What do you think is the most dangerous sport? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-29 2
123281 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-29 1463
123280 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-29 1456
123279 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-29 1808
123278 What is your hometown famous for? Give examples like famous... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-10-29 1095
123277 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-29 1269
123276 Free essay À±*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-29 4
123275 sensitive ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 1149
123274 Women are more emotional than men. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 1347
123273 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 0
123272 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 0
123271 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 1197
123270 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 0
123269 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 2
123268 Homework ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 1568

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04