¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why do you think work-life balance is important?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹®
2022-11-19 1022

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First of all, we have to think about the reason why we have a job. I think job makes own's life more energetic. Also, we can feel that we are essential members of society getting job. Because having job means that utilizes own's ability and it relates to make a living. As a result, I think job is important but it's supplementary one in our life. We have job to make comfortable and meaningful life. So, work-life balance is very important. If we got so much stress because of work, it is meaningless. However, Korea's work circumstance is strict and stressful due to working time and order of rank. As I know, people in foreign do their work in fixed working time whether there are lots of things they have to do and equal order system makes company effective. That's why they can separate work and life well. Spending time with family is more valuable than doing their work. Although, Korean know that fact, but the system isn't helpful. So, law about working time and salary is really needed.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Mary. 

First of all, we have to think about the reason why we have a job. 
>>>  correct
I think job makes own's life more energetic. 
>>> OR:  I think the job makes one's life more energetic/meaningful.     
Also, we can feel that we are essential members of society getting job. 
>>> correct    
Because having job means that utilizes own's ability and it relates to make a living. 
>>Because having job means that one utilizes his/her ability and it relates to making a living.     
As a result, I think job is important but it's supplementary one in our life. 
>>>  correct
>>> OR: As a result, I think job is important but it's a supplementary to one's life. 
We have job to make comfortable and meaningful life. 
>>We have a job to make a comfortable and meaningful life.     
So, work-life balance is very important. 
>>> correct    
If we got so much stress because of work, it is meaningless. 
>>> correct        
However, Korea's work circumstance is strict and stressful due to working time and order of rank. 
>>> correct        
As I know, people in foreign do their work in fixed working time whether there are lots of things they have to do and equal order system makes company effective. 
>>> correct       
That's why they can separate work and life well. 
>>> correct    
Spending time with family is more valuable than doing their work.
>>> correct    
Although, Korean know that fact, but the system isn't helpful. 
>>> Although Korean know that fact, the system isn't helpful.     
So, law about working time and salary is really needed.
>>> correct         
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123506 Is it a good reason to have children to avoid being lonely later... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-10 1202
123505 sorry ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2022-11-10 2
123504 Some parents want their children to have the best of everything.... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-10 1311
123503 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-10 1
123502 crime ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-10 1184
123501 Why stalking and dating violence have steadily increased ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-11-10 1394
123500 I talk about a topic that the other person is interested in ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-10 1405
123499 11.09.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-10 3
123498 How do you intend to use your knowledge and learning at school? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-11-10 1558
123497 Which foods taste bad to you? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-10 2
123496 Sorry to be absent today ¼Û*ö ¿Ï·á 2022-11-10 1631
123495 What is your biggest accomplishment this year? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-11-10 5
123494 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 1682
123493 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 1115
123492 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 2
123491 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 1713
123490 If you are at home and alone, are you more likely to think there... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 936
123489 Who is the most controversial personality in your country? Why? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 1218
123488 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 1158
123487 Role model ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04