¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why do you think work-life balance is important?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹®
2022-11-19 1340

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First of all, we have to think about the reason why we have a job. I think job makes own's life more energetic. Also, we can feel that we are essential members of society getting job. Because having job means that utilizes own's ability and it relates to make a living. As a result, I think job is important but it's supplementary one in our life. We have job to make comfortable and meaningful life. So, work-life balance is very important. If we got so much stress because of work, it is meaningless. However, Korea's work circumstance is strict and stressful due to working time and order of rank. As I know, people in foreign do their work in fixed working time whether there are lots of things they have to do and equal order system makes company effective. That's why they can separate work and life well. Spending time with family is more valuable than doing their work. Although, Korean know that fact, but the system isn't helpful. So, law about working time and salary is really needed.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Mary. 

First of all, we have to think about the reason why we have a job. 
>>>  correct
I think job makes own's life more energetic. 
>>> OR:  I think the job makes one's life more energetic/meaningful.     
Also, we can feel that we are essential members of society getting job. 
>>> correct    
Because having job means that utilizes own's ability and it relates to make a living. 
>>Because having job means that one utilizes his/her ability and it relates to making a living.     
As a result, I think job is important but it's supplementary one in our life. 
>>>  correct
>>> OR: As a result, I think job is important but it's a supplementary to one's life. 
We have job to make comfortable and meaningful life. 
>>We have a job to make a comfortable and meaningful life.     
So, work-life balance is very important. 
>>> correct    
If we got so much stress because of work, it is meaningless. 
>>> correct        
However, Korea's work circumstance is strict and stressful due to working time and order of rank. 
>>> correct        
As I know, people in foreign do their work in fixed working time whether there are lots of things they have to do and equal order system makes company effective. 
>>> correct       
That's why they can separate work and life well. 
>>> correct    
Spending time with family is more valuable than doing their work.
>>> correct    
Although, Korean know that fact, but the system isn't helpful. 
>>> Although Korean know that fact, the system isn't helpful.     
So, law about working time and salary is really needed.
>>> correct         
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127201 Drama ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 2
127200 What makes me be mad ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 986
127199 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 1052
127198 Favorite summer memories ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 779
127197 Topics that I\'m interested about Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 1
127196 What are the advantages and disadvantages of talking in person? ±è*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 1013
127195 What do you think are the effects of school bullying/violence? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 2
127194 Bullying and violence in school is outright criminal. ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-04 3
127193 4.Apr.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-04 1
127192 3.Apr.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-04 3
127191 Homework ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-04 1054
127190 Home work ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-04 1
127189 Home work Á¶* ¿Ï·á 2023-04-04 780
127188 The questions ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-04 1
127187 pizza ¹Ú*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-04 1149
127186 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-04 2
127185 Hw ÃÖ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-04-04 1
127184 Do you agree with the court¡¯s decision that children born out... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-04 4
127183 Hello Ãß*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-04 801
127182 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-04 788

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04