¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why do you think work-life balance is important?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹®
2022-11-19 1305

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First of all, we have to think about the reason why we have a job. I think job makes own's life more energetic. Also, we can feel that we are essential members of society getting job. Because having job means that utilizes own's ability and it relates to make a living. As a result, I think job is important but it's supplementary one in our life. We have job to make comfortable and meaningful life. So, work-life balance is very important. If we got so much stress because of work, it is meaningless. However, Korea's work circumstance is strict and stressful due to working time and order of rank. As I know, people in foreign do their work in fixed working time whether there are lots of things they have to do and equal order system makes company effective. That's why they can separate work and life well. Spending time with family is more valuable than doing their work. Although, Korean know that fact, but the system isn't helpful. So, law about working time and salary is really needed.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Mary. 

First of all, we have to think about the reason why we have a job. 
>>>  correct
I think job makes own's life more energetic. 
>>> OR:  I think the job makes one's life more energetic/meaningful.     
Also, we can feel that we are essential members of society getting job. 
>>> correct    
Because having job means that utilizes own's ability and it relates to make a living. 
>>Because having job means that one utilizes his/her ability and it relates to making a living.     
As a result, I think job is important but it's supplementary one in our life. 
>>>  correct
>>> OR: As a result, I think job is important but it's a supplementary to one's life. 
We have job to make comfortable and meaningful life. 
>>We have a job to make a comfortable and meaningful life.     
So, work-life balance is very important. 
>>> correct    
If we got so much stress because of work, it is meaningless. 
>>> correct        
However, Korea's work circumstance is strict and stressful due to working time and order of rank. 
>>> correct        
As I know, people in foreign do their work in fixed working time whether there are lots of things they have to do and equal order system makes company effective. 
>>> correct       
That's why they can separate work and life well. 
>>> correct    
Spending time with family is more valuable than doing their work.
>>> correct    
Although, Korean know that fact, but the system isn't helpful. 
>>> Although Korean know that fact, the system isn't helpful.     
So, law about working time and salary is really needed.
>>> correct         
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120934 In your opinion, what other customs or practices that aren¡¯t... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 174
120933 Writing Task(Jul 14th, 2022) ³²*½Â ÁøÇàÁß 2022-07-20 456
120932 Do you think it\'s easy for people to recognize real religion... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 352
120931 Why do people become criminals? What are the causes of crime?... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 165
120930 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 175
120929 Is religion important? ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 303
120928 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 2
120927 Do you prefer to have many friends or just a few that you are... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 315
120926 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 251
120925 How do you feel about artificial intelligence-assisted... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 384
120924 homework Á¤*È£ ÁøÇàÁß 2022-07-20 0
120923 homework Á¤*È£ ÁøÇàÁß 2022-07-20 1
120922 About the zombie village. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 243
120921 homework on July 19th ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 417
120920 What is the perfect thing to do during summer there in your... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 314
120919 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 210
120918 [2022.07.20_H.W] What do you like best about your culture? ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 261
120917 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 3
120916 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 121
120915 Why do you think people send their elders to nursing homes? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 407

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04