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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Do you think donating blood should be well-paid or always be only voluntary?

작성자: 황*하
2022-11-18 1580

회원님의 영작문

If a patient need to do a blood transfusion, he/she has to pay for it. If patients have a certified a blood transfusion card after doing it before which is issued by authorized organization like Red Cross Association, they can receive blood transfusion by free as they have cards. Red Cross offers more rewards for a person who gives his/her blood due to the shortage of it. It is actually good for maintaining human health because our body always creates new cells every moments, so we can exchange our blood with clean one. I believe that people are willing to donate their blood, if they get gifts which are valuable or useful products. It would be nice to both of them. I am not sure if hospital pays for blood bags to Red Cross. There is a medical ethics that organs can't sell in any reason. Blood can be the part of our body so it might be free for hospitals. Anyway, there aren't anything valuable things more than human's live, we have to promote people to donate blood, and then save more

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


If a patient need to do a blood transfusion, he/she has to pay for it. 
>> If a patient needs to do a blood transfusion, he/she has to pay for it. 
If patients have a certified a blood transfusion card after doing it before which is issued by authorized organization like Red Cross Association, they can receive blood transfusion by free as they have cards. 
>> If patients have a certified blood transfusion card after doing it before which is issued by authorized organization like Red Cross Association, they can receive blood for free as they have cards. 
OR >>  If patients have a certified blood transfusion card after doing it before which is issued by authorized organization like Red Cross Association, they can have blood transfusion for free as they have cards. 
Red Cross offers more rewards for a person who gives his/her blood due to the shortage of it. 
>> CORRECT! 
It is actually good for maintaining human health because our body always creates new cells every moments, so we can exchange our blood with clean one. 
>> CORRECT! 
I believe that people are willing to donate their blood, if they get gifts which are valuable or useful products. 
>> CORRECT! 
It would be nice to both of them. 
>> CORRECT! 
I am not sure if hospital pays for blood bags to Red Cross. 
>> CORRECT! 
There is a medical ethics that organs can't sell in any reason. 
>> There is a medical ethics that organs can't be sold in any reason. 
Blood can be the part of our body so it might be free for hospitals. 
>> Blood can be considered as a part of our body so it might be free for hospitals. 
Anyway, there aren't anything valuable things more than human's live, we have to promote people to donate blood, and then save more
>> Anyway, there aren't anything valuable things more than a human's life; we have to promote people to donate blood, and then save more lives.

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