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Is it a good idea for Minister Lee Sang-min to step down from his position?

작성자: 김*문
2022-11-17 2128

회원님의 영작문

If he didn't do his best to prevent and solve the Itaewon accident, he deserves to step down from his position. However, it should not be the first step. At first, the prosecution has to confirm his guilt accurately. And then, they have to find out the problems of system and prepare methods to prevent those accidents. Minister Lee Sang-min also did his best whether he retires or not. Because he is leader of ministry of public administration and security. It means he has enormous responsibility of public security. Stepping down from the position shouldn't be the avoiding way from the fault. Cutting their tails with pressing core people to retire is the serious problem in Korea. When the Sewol fairy accident happened, the government solved problems with dismissing some people. So, it is not a good idea for Minister Lee Sang-min to step down from his position at least now. I hope the people who are guilty must be honest to keep their minimum fame.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thanks for this Mary. Yes, he should try to make up for his negligence or fault first before stepping down. In that way, he can still keep his dignity.

If he didn't do his best to prevent and solve the Itaewon accident, he deserves to step down from his position. 
>>>> correct  
However, it should not be the first step. 
>>>>  correct  
At first, the prosecution has to confirm his guilt accurately. 
>>>>  correct
>>> OR: First, the prosecution has to prove him guilty.
And then, they have to find out the problems of system and prepare methods to prevent those accidents. 
>>>> And then, they have to find out the problems in the system and prepare methods to prevent those accidents.    
Minister Lee Sang-min also did his best whether he retires or not. 
>>>> correct  
Because he is leader of ministry of public administration and security. 
>>>> Because he is the leader of ministry of public administration and security.   
It means he has enormous responsibility of public security. 
>>>> correct  
Stepping down from the position shouldn't be the avoiding way from the fault.
 >>>>  OR: Stepping down from the position shouldn't be his escape goat.
Cutting their tails with pressing core people to retire is the serious problem in Korea. 
>>>> correct   
When the Sewol fairy accident happened, the government solved problems with dismissing some people. 
>>>> When the Sewol Ferry accident happened, the government solved problems by dismissing some people.   
So, it is not a good idea for Minister Lee Sang-min to step down from his position at least now. 
>>>> correct  
I hope the people who are guilty must be honest to keep their minimum fame.
>>>> correct  

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