¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-11-17 1674

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi, T.Donna.
First, I was so impressed about your movie.
I saw many good actors and actresses, especially the mayor.
You did your role very well.
You seemed to be a Jesus.
When you gave a coat to the daughter's mom and said "I am also mother.", I almost cried.
I think you have many talents.
As I told you, my wife and I went out for a nice lunch.
The restaurant was not luxurious, but we enjoyed our meal.
In fact, the place was closer to snack bar. (Is this a right sentence?)
Before our lunch, we went to a new building for our new clinic.
That was an empty space now, but it made us feel so good.
In the afternoon, I worked as usual.
Because Dr. MJ and I decided to change many things about our new clinic, we were so busy to do lots of paperwork about it.
I literally don't know how the time passed.
Now I am at home, and my wife is trying to make daughters sleep.
Maybe we will spend our time for only us, drinking some beers with some snacks in a while.
This is a happiness, I think.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Dr. Kim! Friday is here!

I'm sorry I can't help but share our short film. As you can see, we shot this during day time but the director has to make it appear dark at night so, the overall cinematography was not very clear but proudly, the message was very clear. Thank you for applauding the part of the 'mayor' ^^ When I went to shoot with them, I thought it was a college project. ^^ I just did my best to help them. In the end, we won one award and it was the 'Independent Spirit Awad'

Well, COVID-19 was widely spreading that time so, I just watched my team online. Anyway, yesterday was a heartwarming moment for you and your wife. Ten years is definitely another achievement and a milestone for your relationship. A simple celebration means so much for women. Not only that, you also visited your new clinic together. You must have asked her as well of what she thinks about the space. To sum it all, I think you can be tired most of the time however, you have all the elements of happiness- a wonderful family, a stable career, and a great friend with Dr. MJ. 

I am grateful for yout time to draft and send this composition. As you notice, short sentences are efficient and can commit less mistakes. On the other hand, long sentences can challenge you to connect short sentences and ideas to one long gramatically correct one. Excellent piece of writing.

Have a great afteroon!

-T. Donna~

Hi, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

First, I was so impressed about your movie.
>> Correct!

I saw many good actors and actresses, especially the mayor.
>> Correct! Thank you, I agree! ^^

You did your role very well.
>> Correct!

You seemed to be a Jesus.
>> Correct! 

When you gave a coat to the daughter's mom and said "I am also mother.", I almost cried.
>> Correct!

I think you have many talents.
>> Correct!

As I told you, my wife and I went out for a nice lunch.
>> Correct!

The restaurant was not luxurious, but we enjoyed our meal.
>> Correct!

In fact, the place was closer to snack bar. (Is this a right sentence?)
>> In fact, the place was closer to a snack bar. (Is this a right sentence?)

Before our lunch, we went to a new building for our new clinic.
>> Correct!
Or: Before our lunch, we went to the new building of our new clinic.

That was an empty space now, but it made us feel so good.
>> That is an empty space now, but it made us feel so good.

In the afternoon, I worked as usual.
>> Correct!

Because Dr. MJ and I decided to change many things about our new clinic, we were so busy to do lots of paperwork about it.
>> Correct!

I literally don't know how the time passed.
>> Correct!

Now I am at home, and my wife is trying to make daughters sleep.
>> Now I am at home, and my wife is trying to make our daughters sleep.

Maybe we will spend our time for only us, drinking some beers with some snacks in a while.
>> Correct!

This is a happiness, I think.
>> This is happiness, I think.

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122878 What kinds of advertisements don\'t you like? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-10-09 2
122877 How could public transport in your city be improved? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-09 2
122876 Do you easily get affected by the bad mood of others? Answer in... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-09 1236
122875 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-08 2189
122874 Use the following words in sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-10-08 1672
122873 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-08 1872
122872 weekend ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 2053
122871 When I have the blues¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 1817
122870 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 2
122869 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 0
122868 10/7 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 2537
122867 What are your short-term and long-term goals? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 1525
122866 What are you most proud about your country that you can never... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 1602
122865 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 1481
122864 If you have nothing to do, do you enjoy yourself or do you get... ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 1403
122863 My short-term and long-term goals are.. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 1790
122862 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 1
122861 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 1442
122860 Control ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 1
122859 Are you a creative person? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 1334

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04