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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2022-11-17 1657

회원님의 영작문

Hi, T.Donna.
First, I was so impressed about your movie.
I saw many good actors and actresses, especially the mayor.
You did your role very well.
You seemed to be a Jesus.
When you gave a coat to the daughter's mom and said "I am also mother.", I almost cried.
I think you have many talents.
As I told you, my wife and I went out for a nice lunch.
The restaurant was not luxurious, but we enjoyed our meal.
In fact, the place was closer to snack bar. (Is this a right sentence?)
Before our lunch, we went to a new building for our new clinic.
That was an empty space now, but it made us feel so good.
In the afternoon, I worked as usual.
Because Dr. MJ and I decided to change many things about our new clinic, we were so busy to do lots of paperwork about it.
I literally don't know how the time passed.
Now I am at home, and my wife is trying to make daughters sleep.
Maybe we will spend our time for only us, drinking some beers with some snacks in a while.
This is a happiness, I think.
See you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Dr. Kim! Friday is here!

I'm sorry I can't help but share our short film. As you can see, we shot this during day time but the director has to make it appear dark at night so, the overall cinematography was not very clear but proudly, the message was very clear. Thank you for applauding the part of the 'mayor' ^^ When I went to shoot with them, I thought it was a college project. ^^ I just did my best to help them. In the end, we won one award and it was the 'Independent Spirit Awad'

Well, COVID-19 was widely spreading that time so, I just watched my team online. Anyway, yesterday was a heartwarming moment for you and your wife. Ten years is definitely another achievement and a milestone for your relationship. A simple celebration means so much for women. Not only that, you also visited your new clinic together. You must have asked her as well of what she thinks about the space. To sum it all, I think you can be tired most of the time however, you have all the elements of happiness- a wonderful family, a stable career, and a great friend with Dr. MJ. 

I am grateful for yout time to draft and send this composition. As you notice, short sentences are efficient and can commit less mistakes. On the other hand, long sentences can challenge you to connect short sentences and ideas to one long gramatically correct one. Excellent piece of writing.

Have a great afteroon!

-T. Donna~

Hi, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

First, I was so impressed about your movie.
>> Correct!

I saw many good actors and actresses, especially the mayor.
>> Correct! Thank you, I agree! ^^

You did your role very well.
>> Correct!

You seemed to be a Jesus.
>> Correct! 

When you gave a coat to the daughter's mom and said "I am also mother.", I almost cried.
>> Correct!

I think you have many talents.
>> Correct!

As I told you, my wife and I went out for a nice lunch.
>> Correct!

The restaurant was not luxurious, but we enjoyed our meal.
>> Correct!

In fact, the place was closer to snack bar. (Is this a right sentence?)
>> In fact, the place was closer to a snack bar. (Is this a right sentence?)

Before our lunch, we went to a new building for our new clinic.
>> Correct!
Or: Before our lunch, we went to the new building of our new clinic.

That was an empty space now, but it made us feel so good.
>> That is an empty space now, but it made us feel so good.

In the afternoon, I worked as usual.
>> Correct!

Because Dr. MJ and I decided to change many things about our new clinic, we were so busy to do lots of paperwork about it.
>> Correct!

I literally don't know how the time passed.
>> Correct!

Now I am at home, and my wife is trying to make daughters sleep.
>> Now I am at home, and my wife is trying to make our daughters sleep.

Maybe we will spend our time for only us, drinking some beers with some snacks in a while.
>> Correct!

This is a happiness, I think.
>> This is happiness, I think.

See you.
>> Correct!
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