¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-11-17 1935

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi, T.Donna.
First, I was so impressed about your movie.
I saw many good actors and actresses, especially the mayor.
You did your role very well.
You seemed to be a Jesus.
When you gave a coat to the daughter's mom and said "I am also mother.", I almost cried.
I think you have many talents.
As I told you, my wife and I went out for a nice lunch.
The restaurant was not luxurious, but we enjoyed our meal.
In fact, the place was closer to snack bar. (Is this a right sentence?)
Before our lunch, we went to a new building for our new clinic.
That was an empty space now, but it made us feel so good.
In the afternoon, I worked as usual.
Because Dr. MJ and I decided to change many things about our new clinic, we were so busy to do lots of paperwork about it.
I literally don't know how the time passed.
Now I am at home, and my wife is trying to make daughters sleep.
Maybe we will spend our time for only us, drinking some beers with some snacks in a while.
This is a happiness, I think.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Dr. Kim! Friday is here!

I'm sorry I can't help but share our short film. As you can see, we shot this during day time but the director has to make it appear dark at night so, the overall cinematography was not very clear but proudly, the message was very clear. Thank you for applauding the part of the 'mayor' ^^ When I went to shoot with them, I thought it was a college project. ^^ I just did my best to help them. In the end, we won one award and it was the 'Independent Spirit Awad'

Well, COVID-19 was widely spreading that time so, I just watched my team online. Anyway, yesterday was a heartwarming moment for you and your wife. Ten years is definitely another achievement and a milestone for your relationship. A simple celebration means so much for women. Not only that, you also visited your new clinic together. You must have asked her as well of what she thinks about the space. To sum it all, I think you can be tired most of the time however, you have all the elements of happiness- a wonderful family, a stable career, and a great friend with Dr. MJ. 

I am grateful for yout time to draft and send this composition. As you notice, short sentences are efficient and can commit less mistakes. On the other hand, long sentences can challenge you to connect short sentences and ideas to one long gramatically correct one. Excellent piece of writing.

Have a great afteroon!

-T. Donna~

Hi, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

First, I was so impressed about your movie.
>> Correct!

I saw many good actors and actresses, especially the mayor.
>> Correct! Thank you, I agree! ^^

You did your role very well.
>> Correct!

You seemed to be a Jesus.
>> Correct! 

When you gave a coat to the daughter's mom and said "I am also mother.", I almost cried.
>> Correct!

I think you have many talents.
>> Correct!

As I told you, my wife and I went out for a nice lunch.
>> Correct!

The restaurant was not luxurious, but we enjoyed our meal.
>> Correct!

In fact, the place was closer to snack bar. (Is this a right sentence?)
>> In fact, the place was closer to a snack bar. (Is this a right sentence?)

Before our lunch, we went to a new building for our new clinic.
>> Correct!
Or: Before our lunch, we went to the new building of our new clinic.

That was an empty space now, but it made us feel so good.
>> That is an empty space now, but it made us feel so good.

In the afternoon, I worked as usual.
>> Correct!

Because Dr. MJ and I decided to change many things about our new clinic, we were so busy to do lots of paperwork about it.
>> Correct!

I literally don't know how the time passed.
>> Correct!

Now I am at home, and my wife is trying to make daughters sleep.
>> Now I am at home, and my wife is trying to make our daughters sleep.

Maybe we will spend our time for only us, drinking some beers with some snacks in a while.
>> Correct!

This is a happiness, I think.
>> This is happiness, I think.

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123617 What is the best way for police to keep neighborhoods safe? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 2451
123616 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 2131
123615 meet ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 1
123614 Do you agree that the police should be held accountable for what... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 1943
123613 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 1
123612 Some religions forbid blood transfusions. ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 2354
123611 senior ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 2057
123610 Will there always be poverty in the world? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 1689
123609 I agree that alternative medicine obtained through tradition is... ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 2306
123608 I like to play sports rather than watch them ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 2228
123607 15.Nov 2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 4
123606 Which game are you best at? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 0
123605 These days, there more and more younger people committing crimes... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 1
123604 What is your favorite technology? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 1
123603 Tests and exams are nessecary. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 2344
123602 What things make a great movie a great movie? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-11-15 1835
123601 What do you think will happen if your country falls into a... ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-11-15 1415
123600 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-15 1692
123599 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-15 0
123598 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-15 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04