무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Some religions forbid blood transfusions.

작성자: 김*문
2022-11-16 1646

회원님의 영작문

We have rights to have religions. No one can choose and force having religions. Furthermore, only I myself can make decision based on religion. It means every decision should be not interrupted by others. If there is someone who don't want to get blood transfusions based on her/his own faith, we can persuade but can't punish or blame. We have to respect her/his own judgement. Absolutely, I can't understand and don't know why religions forbid blood transfusions. It is related to the life and it can be more holistic. However, we can't regulate that because it can violate freedom of religion. On the other hand, if parents reject the kid's blood transfusions, we have to forbid and prevent that situation. Children are too young to consider in a right way. So, parents have responsibility of protecting children. But parents can't judge on their faith. It is not the kids' decision. The government have to admit the freedom of religion but they also have to protect people's safety.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thanks for this Mary. I agree with what you said. Although, sometimes, some religions would have a very unreasonable belief.

We have rights to have religions. 
>>>  correct
>>> OR: We have the right for freedom of religion.
No one can choose and force having religions. 
>>>  correct
Furthermore, only I myself can make decision based on religion. 
>>>  correct
It means every decision should be not interrupted by others. 
>>>  It means, every decision should not be interrupted by others. 
>>>  OR: It means, every decision should not be interefered by others. 
If there is someone who don't want to get blood transfusions based on her/his own faith, we can persuade but can't punish or blame. 
>>>  correct
We have to respect her/his own judgement. 
>>> correct  
Absolutely, I can't understand and don't know why religions forbid blood transfusions. 
>>> correct    
It is related to the life and it can be more holistic. 
>>>   correct  
However, we can't regulate that because it can violate freedom of religion. 
>>>   correct  
On the other hand, if parents reject the kid's blood transfusions, we have to forbid and prevent that situation. 
>>>   correct  
Children are too young to consider in a right way. 
>>>  Children are too young to consider what is right.
So, parents have responsibility of protecting children. 
>>> So, parents have the responsibility of protecting their children.  
But parents can't judge on their faith.
>>>   correct  
 It is not the kids' decision. 
>>>   correct  
The government have to admit the freedom of religion but they also have to protect people's safety.
>>>  The government has to admit the freedom of religion but they also have to protect people's safety.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
121821 Homework 권*미 완료 2022-08-23 2
121820 Homework 이*경 완료 2022-08-23 938
121819 How can we develop good habits? 이*태 완료 2022-08-23 726
121818 If you could only wear one color for the rest of your life, what... 김*경 완료 2022-08-23 695
121817 homework 김*연 완료 2022-08-23 746
121816 What do you do to relax after working hard or experiencing other... 황*별 완료 2022-08-23 361
121815 If you could ask your favorite Disney princess a question, what... 황*별 완료 2022-08-23 638
121814 What would life be like without your computer? 태*서 완료 2022-08-23 444
121813 If a natural disaster hit your town, what would you do? 태*서 완료 2022-08-23 1236
121812 Have you ever had the experience of being a leader? What did you... 신*섭 완료 2022-08-23 854
121811 My best friend 김*율 완료 2022-08-23 0
121810 What if a natural disaster hit my town? 김*윤 완료 2022-08-23 760
121809 What do you think of hunting? Would you eat an animal that you... 류*주 완료 2022-08-23 854
121808 Tuesday Homework 류*우 완료 2022-08-23 690
121807 What does it mean when you say, \"We are the architects of our... 김*경 완료 2022-08-23 848
121806 How do I value my friendship. 김*성 완료 2022-08-23 1496
121805 How are your friendships different now than they were when you... 구*우 완료 2022-08-23 740
121804 Why I think surrounded by good people is good. 김*성 완료 2022-08-23 737
121803 How I relieve stress. 김*성 완료 2022-08-23 385
121802 Homework 함*주 완료 2022-08-23 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]