¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Should books be censored? Why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-11-14 1699

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, it is a hard problem to solve for us.
If we don't censor books, then people can be confused by many bad books.
But, if we censor books, then the government can show us only the books that they want to show for us.
Because of these reasons, I think we need to think about this problem deeper and get a solution.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello John!
Thanks for the hard work! Please look through the corrections. They are only very minor as I can see you did your best. See you tomorrow! ^^
~~Teacher Kate 

In my opinion, it is a hard problem to solve for us.
>>In my opinion, it is a hard problem for us to solve.
If we don't censor books, then people can be confused by many bad books.
>>CORRECT!
But, if we censor books, then the government can show us only the books that they want to show for us.
>>But, if we censor books, then the government can show us only the books that they want to show us.
Because of these reasons, I think we need to think about this problem deeper and get a solution.
>>CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123398 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 1
123397 subsidy ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 1323
123396 Describe a rule that you don¡¯t like ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 2
123395 11.03.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 1
123394 What hobbies do you think would be boring? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 2
123393 What advice can you give to someone who wants to learn how to... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 236
123392 The reason why English fluency is significant for me ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 1077
123391 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-03 1215
123390 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-03 1875
123389 11/3 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-11-03 969
123388 What is the most beautiful artwork you have ever seen before?... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-03 1425
123387 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-11-03 4
123386 Some people say breakfast is the most important meal of the day.... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-03 2133
123385 Have you experienced having fake friends with bad intentions?... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-11-03 1279
123384 What is the downside of living in an urban or busy hometown? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-11-03 1356
123383 Having many siblings are better ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-03 0
123382 Do gestures help you to understand others and express yourself,... ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-03 1725
123381 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-11-03 0
123380 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-03 1352
123379 Does watching movies in English help you learn English? How?... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-03 2240

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04