¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Should books be censored? Why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-11-14 2222

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, it is a hard problem to solve for us.
If we don't censor books, then people can be confused by many bad books.
But, if we censor books, then the government can show us only the books that they want to show for us.
Because of these reasons, I think we need to think about this problem deeper and get a solution.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello John!
Thanks for the hard work! Please look through the corrections. They are only very minor as I can see you did your best. See you tomorrow! ^^
~~Teacher Kate 

In my opinion, it is a hard problem to solve for us.
>>In my opinion, it is a hard problem for us to solve.
If we don't censor books, then people can be confused by many bad books.
>>CORRECT!
But, if we censor books, then the government can show us only the books that they want to show for us.
>>But, if we censor books, then the government can show us only the books that they want to show us.
Because of these reasons, I think we need to think about this problem deeper and get a solution.
>>CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129562 What\'s the best thing about having a younger sister? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-16 1
129561 7/14 homework °­*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-16 3
129560 Writing Task 0703 À¯*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-16 1
129559 What are your hobbies? Write about them. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-16 1
129558 Do you brush your teeth after every meal ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-07-16 3160
129557 What is the most interesting movie you\'ve watched? °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-16 3404
129556 How can organizations promote and foster a culture of strong... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-07-16 1
129555 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-16 3058
129554 Do you find business meeting stressful? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-15 1
129553 Homwork Á¶*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-15 3147
129552 Homwork Á¶*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-15 3063
129551 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-15 2949
129550 What do you like doing during winter? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-07-15 3565
129549 What is your favorite place in Korea, and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-07-15 3200
129548 Is cancer a common disease in your country? If so, why do you... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-15 2
129547 What\'s your thought on the way historical movies are made or... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 2
129546 homework 07.14 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 2301
129545 The best place to rest in my home ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 2522
129544 What is the scariest moive that you have seen? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 3041
129543 2023.7.14 homework ±è*»è ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 4269

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04