¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Should books be censored? Why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-11-14 1822

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, it is a hard problem to solve for us.
If we don't censor books, then people can be confused by many bad books.
But, if we censor books, then the government can show us only the books that they want to show for us.
Because of these reasons, I think we need to think about this problem deeper and get a solution.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello John!
Thanks for the hard work! Please look through the corrections. They are only very minor as I can see you did your best. See you tomorrow! ^^
~~Teacher Kate 

In my opinion, it is a hard problem to solve for us.
>>In my opinion, it is a hard problem for us to solve.
If we don't censor books, then people can be confused by many bad books.
>>CORRECT!
But, if we censor books, then the government can show us only the books that they want to show for us.
>>But, if we censor books, then the government can show us only the books that they want to show us.
Because of these reasons, I think we need to think about this problem deeper and get a solution.
>>CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122274 Dream home ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1112
122273 9/8 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1623
122272 English performance test ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 2014
122271 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 2502
122270 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 2
122269 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 2110
122268 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1811
122267 The fake news is the problem. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1209
122266 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 0
122265 What kinds of diet do you know? ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 5
122264 Which good habit do you think would be the most difficult to... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1832
122263 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 866
122262 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1132
122261 Who changes their mind more often? Men or women? ÀÓ*¶û ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 3
122260 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 2
122259 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1
122258 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 15
122257 Can you think of some reason why people don\'t keep dogs or cats? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 967
122256 wording ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1211
122255 9/8 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1125

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04