¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why is doing volunteer work important?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±¸*¿ì
2022-11-13 2387

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It's because volunteering helps poverty family or people, and it is good to our emotion like happy or great. And maybe I will respect about how the poverty people survived this extreme environment and facility or we can empathize their feeling at that time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Daisy. :)
Thank you for writing this essay. 
Volunteering is good because it opens our eyes to the dire situation of other people which in turn helps us empathize and extend a helping hand. 
I hope this day is going great for you. ^^
See you again later. ^^
~Teacher Charry

It's because volunteering helps poverty family or people, and it is good to our emotion like happy or great. 
>> It's because volunteering helps poor families or people, and it is good for our emotions because helping others can make us feel happy or great. 
And maybe I will respect about how the poverty people survived this extreme environment and facility or we can empathize their feeling at that time.
>> In addition, maybe it helps us learn how to respect poor people and realize how they are able to survive an extreme environment or situation. Volunteering helps us empathize with how they feel at that time. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128431 Minds! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 1611
128430 How was your day? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 863
128429 How does divorce affects children? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 1524
128428 Eleanor Roosevelt said: ¡°Great minds discuss ideas; average... ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 1914
128427 What do you like doing on holidays? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 1
128426 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 1885
128425 Is it rude to speak your own language around people who can¡¯t... ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 3
128424 HOMEWORK: Who is the best conversationalist that you have ever... Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 1939
128423 Answer : Do you wish you worked in a different company? Why or... Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 1629
128422 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 2034
128421 The most dangerous disease ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 2090
128420 May. 24 ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 1178
128419 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 1676
128418 Homowork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 1736
128417 Do you think that the education system is changing? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 1
128416 We can\'t tame a wild animal as a pet. ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 1
128415 homework 05.23 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1304
128414 neighbor ÀÓ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1
128413 World of Gossip ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 949
128412 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04