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서비스 입니다.

What book would you recommend to a friend?

작성자: 김*율
2022-11-11 2046

회원님의 영작문

I want to recommend my own stories to a friend ( or anyone) because I like to write fantasy stories very much. I don't like books that much, too. It's just that my teacher is Ms. Lyn and nobody said that Ms. Lynn is not my friend! So lets go!

Title : Foratiti and Her family tree.
Foratiti had long, ash brown, and wavy hair that went to her knee. She wore egyption white robes that were only wore by the gods. She had blazing fire-red eyes that could see in the pitch-dark. She, Foratiti was the god of heat, fire, red, and dreams. She was very confused why she was on the human world when she is a god. She was young though, and she even went to school. So just this today, because she was 13, she decided to open the family tree album her mother Nefertiti, never told her to open before14. She was the unknown daughter of Nefertiti and her unknown father. then it goes on and on and on and on and on and on.....

Okay. That was the part of my upcoming story. Um.. then.. have a good weekend! ☕

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Heather! I appreciate your time and effort in making or writing your composition. It is good to know that you like writing fantasy stories. I'm looking forward to hearing your stories in class. See you then! ~ T Lyn
I want to recommend my own stories to a friend ( or anyone) because I like to write fantasy stories very much. 
>>I love to write fantasy stories, so I would like to recommend my stories to my friends or to anyone.
I don't like books that much, too. 
>>Correct. I don't even like books that much.
It's just that my teacher is Ms. Lyn and nobody said that Ms. Lynn is not my friend! 
>>It's just that my teacher, Ms. Lyn, I'm not saying that she's not my friend. 
So lets go!
>>Correct.
Title : Foratiti and Her family tree.
>>Correct/
Foratiti had long, ash brown, and wavy hair that went to her knee. 
>>Foratiti had long ash brown wavy hair that reached her knees.
She wore egyption white robes that were only wore by the gods. 
>>She wore the white robe of Egypt, worn only by the gods.
She had blazing fire-red eyes that could see in the pitch-dark. 
>>She has red eyes like a blazing fire that can see in pitch-black darkness.
She, Foratiti was the god of heat, fire, red, and dreams.
>>She, Foratiti, was the god of heat, fire, red, and dreams.
She was very confused why she was on the human world when she is a god. 
>>She was very confused as to why she was in the human world when she was a god.
She was young though, and she even went to school. 
>>She was young and even went to school.
So just this today, because she was 13, she decided to open the family tree album her mother Nefertiti, never told her to open before14. 
>>So, just today, she decided to open her mother Nefertiti's family tree album, which she had never previously told not to open because she was still 13 years old.
She was the unknown daughter of Nefertiti and her unknown father. 
>>Correct.
then it goes on and on and on and on and on and on.....
>>Then, it goes on and on.
Okay. That was the part of my upcoming story. 
>>It will soon become part of my story.
Um.. then.. have a good weekend!
>>Have a nice weekend!
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