¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Was there a greater \"sense of community\" between neighbors in the past? If so, what has changed?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-11-11 1412

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If my memory serves me right about my childhood, neighbors in the apartment where I lived got along with each other. In the past, we knew neighbors and tried to care for each other. At least, we had a sense of community. However, I don¡¯t know when it started to reduce our interest in each other, we seem to make excuses for neglecting our neighbors by saying that we are too busy to take care of each other. In terms of business, we are not as busy as we used to be in my childhood. Probably, the phenomenon of indifference can be brought about by education which has urged students to get ahead and survive the competition. In such an extreme competition, there can¡¯t be any coworkers or friends, but competitors. Students have lost a good opportunity to learn how to collaborate, and live together even at school, they just learned to how to survive others. Before it¡¯s too late, Korean education should be improved so that students can learn how to cooperate with others in a competitive world.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Steve! ^^
Thank you for the composition.
See you in our next class! :)

~ Teacher Tricia


If my memory serves me right about my childhood, neighbors in the apartment where I lived got along with each other. 
>>> CORRECT!

In the past, we knew neighbors and tried to care for each other. At least, we had a sense of community. 
>>> CORRECT!

However, I don¡¯t know when it started to reduce our interest in each other, we seem to make excuses for neglecting our neighbors by saying that we are too busy to take care of each other. 
>>> CORRECT!

In terms of business, we are not as busy as we used to be in my childhood. 
>>> CORRECT!

Probably, the phenomenon of indifference can be brought about by education which has urged students to get ahead and survive the competition. 
>>> CORRECT!

In such an extreme competition, there can¡¯t be any coworkers or friends, but competitors. 
>>> CORRECT!

Students have lost a good opportunity to learn how to collaborate, and live together even at school, they just learned to how to survive others. 
>>> Students have lost a good opportunity to learn how to collaborate, and live together even at school, they just learned how to survive others. 

Before it¡¯s too late, Korean education should be improved so that students can learn how to cooperate with others in a competitive world.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123426 If you can have one superpower, what would it be and why? :) ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-06 1616
123425 11/4 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-11-06 1616
123424 4.Nov.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-06 2
123423 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-06 1618
123422 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-06 1601
123421 Why do people go to see fortunetellers? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-11-06 1728
123420 How can traveling be educational? È«*ÀÇ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-05 1
123419 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-05 1319
123418 What other opportunities are you looking forward to in the... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-11-05 1638
123417 Is online schooling as effective as in-class education? Why or... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-05 1012
123416 What do you think is the most common crime in your country? Why?... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-05 801
123415 electronic ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 876
123414 starving ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 1582
123413 The only complaint I have with English is¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 1223
123412 Tell us about the most important festival in your country in... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 1011
123411 How many subjects do you have at school? Why is it important to... ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 1513
123410 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 1526
123409 Are you a night owl or a morning person? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 2101
123408 It is the 21st century. Why are people in some places still... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 1528
123407 How much ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04