¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Was there a greater \"sense of community\" between neighbors in the past? If so, what has changed?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-11-11 1399

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If my memory serves me right about my childhood, neighbors in the apartment where I lived got along with each other. In the past, we knew neighbors and tried to care for each other. At least, we had a sense of community. However, I don¡¯t know when it started to reduce our interest in each other, we seem to make excuses for neglecting our neighbors by saying that we are too busy to take care of each other. In terms of business, we are not as busy as we used to be in my childhood. Probably, the phenomenon of indifference can be brought about by education which has urged students to get ahead and survive the competition. In such an extreme competition, there can¡¯t be any coworkers or friends, but competitors. Students have lost a good opportunity to learn how to collaborate, and live together even at school, they just learned to how to survive others. Before it¡¯s too late, Korean education should be improved so that students can learn how to cooperate with others in a competitive world.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Steve! ^^
Thank you for the composition.
See you in our next class! :)

~ Teacher Tricia


If my memory serves me right about my childhood, neighbors in the apartment where I lived got along with each other. 
>>> CORRECT!

In the past, we knew neighbors and tried to care for each other. At least, we had a sense of community. 
>>> CORRECT!

However, I don¡¯t know when it started to reduce our interest in each other, we seem to make excuses for neglecting our neighbors by saying that we are too busy to take care of each other. 
>>> CORRECT!

In terms of business, we are not as busy as we used to be in my childhood. 
>>> CORRECT!

Probably, the phenomenon of indifference can be brought about by education which has urged students to get ahead and survive the competition. 
>>> CORRECT!

In such an extreme competition, there can¡¯t be any coworkers or friends, but competitors. 
>>> CORRECT!

Students have lost a good opportunity to learn how to collaborate, and live together even at school, they just learned to how to survive others. 
>>> Students have lost a good opportunity to learn how to collaborate, and live together even at school, they just learned how to survive others. 

Before it¡¯s too late, Korean education should be improved so that students can learn how to cooperate with others in a competitive world.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123486 Does violence on television make young people more violent? What... È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 1
123485 What do I like,what do I dislike in my home ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 5
123484 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 0
123483 What was the most dangerous thing that you have done? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 1359
123482 made ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 1
123481 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 841
123480 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ÁøÇàÁß 2022-11-09 746
123479 Why do you think people are so fascinated with aliens? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 1711
123478 Have you ever been to a family reunion? How was it? ½Å*°ü ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 2
123477 Have you ever been to a family reunion? How was it? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 990
123476 Have you ever dealt with an emergency? Describe it. Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 1087
123475 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 2
123474 Would people be in a better financial situation without credit... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 1905
123473 Homework. ³ë*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 2
123472 subway system in my country ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 1932
123471 How do you help your grandmother? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 0
123470 Homework~~ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 1708
123469 Homework~~ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-11-08 1413
123468 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-08 1432
123467 Making sentences ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2022-11-08 1529

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04