¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Was there a greater \"sense of community\" between neighbors in the past? If so, what has changed?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-11-11 1529

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If my memory serves me right about my childhood, neighbors in the apartment where I lived got along with each other. In the past, we knew neighbors and tried to care for each other. At least, we had a sense of community. However, I don¡¯t know when it started to reduce our interest in each other, we seem to make excuses for neglecting our neighbors by saying that we are too busy to take care of each other. In terms of business, we are not as busy as we used to be in my childhood. Probably, the phenomenon of indifference can be brought about by education which has urged students to get ahead and survive the competition. In such an extreme competition, there can¡¯t be any coworkers or friends, but competitors. Students have lost a good opportunity to learn how to collaborate, and live together even at school, they just learned to how to survive others. Before it¡¯s too late, Korean education should be improved so that students can learn how to cooperate with others in a competitive world.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Steve! ^^
Thank you for the composition.
See you in our next class! :)

~ Teacher Tricia


If my memory serves me right about my childhood, neighbors in the apartment where I lived got along with each other. 
>>> CORRECT!

In the past, we knew neighbors and tried to care for each other. At least, we had a sense of community. 
>>> CORRECT!

However, I don¡¯t know when it started to reduce our interest in each other, we seem to make excuses for neglecting our neighbors by saying that we are too busy to take care of each other. 
>>> CORRECT!

In terms of business, we are not as busy as we used to be in my childhood. 
>>> CORRECT!

Probably, the phenomenon of indifference can be brought about by education which has urged students to get ahead and survive the competition. 
>>> CORRECT!

In such an extreme competition, there can¡¯t be any coworkers or friends, but competitors. 
>>> CORRECT!

Students have lost a good opportunity to learn how to collaborate, and live together even at school, they just learned to how to survive others. 
>>> Students have lost a good opportunity to learn how to collaborate, and live together even at school, they just learned how to survive others. 

Before it¡¯s too late, Korean education should be improved so that students can learn how to cooperate with others in a competitive world.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121612 8/16 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 762
121611 Which is more comfortable: sleeping alone or sleeping with... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 2
121610 Tell us something interesting about yourself ¹é*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 559
121609 Daily essay À±*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 5
121608 What is the significance of the holiday today? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-16 321
121607 homework À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 743
121606 When people are wealthy or successful, do they have a special... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 988
121605 My hardship ±è*°â ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 409
121604 What is the best thing about being married? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 1
121603 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 824
121602 What are some reasons why privacy is important for you? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 435
121601 What comes to mind when you hear the word ¡°rent¡±? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 719
121600 What cartoons do young people watch today? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 907
121599 My son\'s room ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 2
121598 Today\'s adolescents Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 2
121597 What do you think is the best job? How about the worst job? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 509
121596 Tell me your favorite music genre and the reason you like it. ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 910
121595 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 0
121594 What are some reasons why privacy is important for you? ±è*°â ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 1247
121593 Homework ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-15 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04