¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Is it a good reason to have children to avoid being lonely later in life? If raising children were f

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-11-10 1630

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don¡¯t deny that I wanted to have many children to make me much happier. However, having children is not only for me but also for them. People need protection and care until they are grown up enough to stand on their feet. The better support for them, the better for them. When it comes to raising children, just money is not the key to all problems. Children need more than that. they need enough love and caring, which is the reason why the number of children I have should be limited. If raising children were free with unprecedented government support, I couldn¡¯t have more than four children because I want to give them respectively as much love as I can.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Steve! ^^
Thank you for the composition.
See you in our next class! :)

~ Teacher Tricia


I don¡¯t deny that I wanted to have many children to make me much happier. 
>>> CORRECT!

However, having children is not only for me but also for them. People need protection and care until they are grown up enough to stand on their feet. 
>>> CORRECT!

The better support for them, the better for them. When it comes to raising children, just money is not the key to all problems. 
>>> CORRECT!

Children need more than that. they need enough love and caring, which is the reason why the number of children I have should be limited. 
>>> CORRECT!

If raising children were free with unprecedented government support, I couldn¡¯t have more than four children because I want to give them respectively as much love as I can.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118705 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 1
118704 What makes you happy? Why does it make you happy? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 1
118703 I think it¡¯s important to keep going. ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 143
118702 But it\'s my personality :) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 73
118701 My favorite is traditional books:) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 120
118700 My best experience ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 95
118699 Nowadays, a lot of offices employ open-space designs instead of... ±è*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 84
118698 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 93
118697 What is your definition of success and failure in life? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 82
118696 Shoes È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 122
118695 2022.5.2 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 103
118694 What is traveling for you? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 1
118693 Look around your house and make two (sentences) using: 1. There... ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 202
118692 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 3
118691 If you can recommend a Korean dish to a foreigner, what would it... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 141
118690 5/2... ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 100
118689 What can you say about the roles played by villains in any... ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 115
118688 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 2
118687 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 0
118686 Why do you think people have pets? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 148

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04