¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why stalking and dating violence have steadily increased

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹®
2022-11-10 1412

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Korea is very conservative society. The conservative mood is because of the Confucianism flourished in Chosun dynasty. So, the idea that the men are over than woman is still remaining. And the old are still reluctant to refer sexual things considering it is impure. At result, it is hard to get precision education especially about sexual things. School education is also formal. When I was young, homeroom teachers did sexual education and the content was comprehensive. Rather, young people get inaccurate information from online. It is easy to be exposed from sensational things increasing the use of the social media. And then, it relates to wrong sexual perception to the young. Lots of people don't know love is based on not ownership but respect and consideration. Furthermore, the lenient punishment is another reason of increasing stalking and dating violence. Accurate education about love and sexual things and strict punishment is the solution of these crimes.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Very well said Mary. Thanks for this.

Korea is very conservative society. 
>>>  correct 
The conservative mood is because of the Confucianism flourished in Chosun dynasty. 
>>The conservative mood is because of the Confucianism that flourished in Chosun dynasty.   
So, the idea that the men are over than woman is still remaining. 
>>> correct
>>> OR: So, the idea that the men are above than woman still exists.   
And the old are still reluctant to refer sexual things considering it is impure. 
>>>  OR: In addition, the old are still reluctant to address sexual things considering it as immoral. 
At result, it is hard to get precision education especially about sexual things. 
>>>  OR: As a result, it is hard to get precise education especially about sexual things.   
School education is also formal. 
>>>  correct 
When I was young, homeroom teachers did sexual education and the content was comprehensive. 
>>>  correct 
Rather, young people get inaccurate information from online. 
>>>  correct 
It is easy to be exposed from sensational things increasing the use of the social media.   
>>> It is easy to be exposed to sensational things increasing through the use of social media. 
And then, it relates to wrong sexual perception to the young. 
>>> correct  
Lots of people don't know love is based on not ownership but respect and consideration. 
>>> correct     
Furthermore, the lenient punishment is another reason of increasing stalking and dating violence. 
>>>  correct    
Accurate education about love and sexual things and strict punishment is the solution of these crimes.
>>>  correct    
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123646 What is a white lie? Do you think it\'s good or bad? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-11-17 1998
123645 I enjoy my school life. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-11-17 1238
123644 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-17 1124
123643 What is more important to take care of: mental health or... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-17 1640
123642 The accent ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-17 1
123641 Complete the following sentences or make them longer ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-11-17 1344
123640 When you were younger, which one provided you with better... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-11-17 1460
123639 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-11-17 1127
123638 practice ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2022-11-17 0
123637 16.Nov.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-17 2
123636 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-17 1556
123635 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-17 45
123634 Homework ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-11-17 3
123633 Which character from a book, movie or TV program would you like... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 1251
123632 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 1
123631 Describe your favorite cafe ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 23
123630 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 1562
123629 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 1441
123628 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 0
123627 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 1621

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04