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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Would people be in a better financial situation without credit cards?

작성자: 황*하
2022-11-09 1931

회원님의 영작문

What people usually do if they spend a lot of money or can't control their consumption is removing their credit card because it make people spending more money than they have. Credit card companies make more money if customers use it a lot. They charge commission to strore which accept it as a payment method on every payment. That's why credit card companies frequently encourage people to use their card. Although, there are few disadvantage using credit card, there are a lot of benifits that we can get from useages of it. There are numerous discount benifit from 5% to 10% depending on the consumption of previous month. It's quite difficult to manage our spending every month. Card companies have the minimum spending a month, for instance one company provide special discount of Starbucks coffee by 10%, if a user spend money over 300,000 won before the payment date. I believe that it is a good material to save money, if we use it effective way.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

What people usually do if they spend a lot of money or can't control their consumption is removing their credit card because it make people spending more money than they have. 
>> What people usually do if they spend a lot of money or can't control their consumption is removing their credit card because it makes people spend more money than they have. 
Credit card companies make more money if customers use it a lot. 
>> CORRECT! 
They charge commission to strore which accept it as a payment method on every payment. 
>> CORRECT! 
That's why credit card companies frequently encourage people to use their card. 
>> CORRECT! 
Although, there are few disadvantage using credit card, there are a lot of benifits that we can get from useages of it. 
>> Although, there are a few disadvantages using credit card, there are a lot of benefits that we can get from using of it. 
There are numerous discount benifit from 5% to 10% depending on the consumption of previous month. 
>> There are numerous discount benefit from 5% to 10% depending on the consumption of previous month. 
It's quite difficult to manage our spending every month. 
>> CORRECT! 
Card companies have the minimum spending a month, for instance one company provide special discount of Starbucks coffee by 10%, if a user spend money over 300,000 won before the payment date. 
>> CORRECT! 
I believe that it is a good material to save money, if we use it effective way.
>> I believe that it is a good material to save money, if we use it an effective way.
OR >> I believe that it is a good material to save money, if we use it effectively.


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