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subway system in my country

작성자: 김*문
2022-11-09 2412

회원님의 영작문

I can't use subway in my city. If I want to use the subway, I have to move to Uijeongbu-si or Jamsil taking the bus. They are located in the 30, 50 minutes distances. So, using bus is optimum option in my city. But whenever I go to Seoul to meet my friends or go to school, I always use subway. It is fast and it rarely delayed. Lots of people are living in South Korea which is about one hundredth of America. So, buildings and people are concentrated and it relates to traffic jam. Maybe it takes a couple of hours to go home. Considering Korea's traffic system, I proudly say that subway would it be first choice of transport. Lots of foreigners will be surprised at the convenience, speed and accuracy of the subway. We can go anywhere with reasonable price. On the other hand, once my mom and sister visited Japan, they were shocked because the Japanese subway was old and complicated. However, there is much loss because of free-riding. We have to prevent this problem more strictly.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for this Mary. We don't have a subway or train in my city, so I have never experienced riding one. 

I can't use subway in my city. 
>>> correct   
If I want to use the subway, I have to move to Uijeongbu-si or Jamsil taking the bus. 
>>> correct  
They are located in the 30, 50 minutes distances. 
>>> OR: They are located in a 30 to 50 minutes distance.  
So, using bus is optimum option in my city. 
>>> So, using the bus is an optimum option in my city.   
But whenever I go to Seoul to meet my friends or go to school, I always use subway. 
>>> But whenever I go to Seoul to meet my friends or go to school, I always use the subway.   
It is fast and it rarely delayed. 
>>> It is fast and it rarely gets delayed.   
Lots of people are living in South Korea which is about one hundredth of America. 
>>> correct   
So, buildings and people are concentrated and it relates to traffic jam. 
>>> correct 
Maybe it takes a couple of hours to go home. 
>>> correct  
Considering Korea's traffic system, I proudly say that subway would it be first choice of transport.
>>>  correct 
Lots of foreigners will be surprised at the convenience, speed and accuracy of the subway. 
>>> correct  
We can go anywhere with reasonable price. 
>>> correct  
On the other hand, once my mom and sister visited Japan, they were shocked because the Japanese subway was old and complicated. 
>>> correct 
However, there is much loss because of free-riding. 
>>> correct  
We have to prevent this problem more strictly.
>>> correct 

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