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영작교정 게시판

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서비스 입니다.

Have you ever been in an emergency situation? How did you deal with it?

작성자: 김*문
2022-11-08 1453

회원님의 영작문

When I was young, my finger was caught in the door which was made of the mirror(I had to push and pull the door to open) My mom passed the door at first, and then I also tried to pass the door. However, I was too small to check where I am. So, my mother knew that I already came into the building passing the door and my mom released the door handle. Unfortunately, I still held the door and then my ring finger's nail was fell out. I can't remember that time exactly because it happened a long time ago. But my mom was surprised to the accident and I had to go to emergency room. After I grew up, I think that I actually have never been in emergency situation. Whenever there is no toilet around at me, it is emergency situation to me. At that time, I run quickly and take deep breath to come down. Anyway, I try to avoid the dangerous situation. However, the unexpected situation can happen anywhere and anytime. So, we should pay more attention around us and be careful.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thanks for this Mary That sounded painful. You fingernail fell off? Good thing you don't remember well.

When I was young, my finger was caught in the door which was made of the mirror(I had to push and pull the door to open) 
>>>  When I was young, my finger was caught in the door which was made of a mirror (I had to push and pull the door to open). 
My mom passed the door at first, and then I also tried to pass the door.
>>>  correct  
However, I was too small to check where I am. 
>>>   correct 
So, my mother knew that I already came into the building passing the door and my mom released the door handle. 
>>>   correct  
Unfortunately, I still held the door and then my ring finger's nail was fell out. 
>>> Unfortunately, I still held on to the door and then my ring fingernail fell out.    
I can't remember that time exactly because it happened a long time ago. 
>>> correct   
But my mom was surprised to the accident and I had to go to emergency room. 
>>> But my mom was surprised of the accident and I had to go to emergency room.   
After I grew up, I think that I actually have never been in emergency situation. 
>>>   After I grew up, I think that I actually have never been in an emergency situation. 
Whenever there is no toilet around at me, it is emergency situation to me. 
>>>  Whenever there is no toilet around me, it is an emergency situation to me.  (I totally agree with this one! :D )
At that time, I run quickly and take deep breath to come down. 
>>> At that time, I run quickly and take deep breaths to calm down.   
Anyway, I try to avoid the dangerous situation. 
>>> correct   
However, the unexpected situation can happen anywhere and anytime. 
>>>  correct  
So, we should pay more attention around us and be careful.
>>> correct   
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