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The reason why English fluency is significant for me

작성자: 김*문
2022-11-04 1233

회원님의 영작문

I think communication is most important and difficult part to get along with people around me. Especially, we are living in multicultural world and it will become more multicultural. The first step to communicate is learning language. That is why I want to learn English that is international language. And, I have to go to America as an exchange student next year. I must take classes in English and get along with foreign friends. Also, I have to do all of things myself. There will be no one to help me like my parents. I wish there will be no problems during staying in America. At that time, I have to express my opinion accurately and clearly. Furthermore, I love languages especially English. English is attractive because it is really different from Korean. It is fun and useful. Moreover, language skills are essential part to diplomat. I want to prepare my future. There are so many reasons why English fluency is significant for me. It would take a few days to explain.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for this Mary. English is indeed considered a necessity these days in a global society.

I think communication is most important and difficult part to get along with people around me. 
>>>  I think communication is the most important and difficult part to get along with people around me.  
Especially, we are living in multicultural world and it will become more multicultural. 
>>>  Especially, we are living in a multicultural world and it will become more multicultural.  
The first step to communicate is learning language. 
>>> correct  
That is why I want to learn English that is international language. 
>>>  That is why I want to learn English which is the international language.  
And, I have to go to America as an exchange student next year. 
>>> correct  
I must take classes in English and get along with foreign friends. 
>>> correct  
Also, I have to do all of things myself. 
>>>  correct 
>>> OR: In addition, I have to do everything myself. 
There will be no one to help me like my parents. 
>>>  correct 
I wish there will be no problems during staying in America. 
>>>  correct
>>> OR: I wish there will be no problems during my stay in America.  
At that time, I have to express my opinion accurately and clearly. 
>>> correct    
Furthermore, I love languages especially English. 
>>> correct   
English is attractive because it is really different from Korean. 
>>> correct   
It is fun and useful. 
>>> correct  
Moreover, language skills are essential part to diplomat. 
>>>  Moreover, language skills are essential part to a diplomat.  
I want to prepare my future.
>>>  OR: I want to prepare for my future. 
There are so many reasons why English fluency is significant for me. 
>>>  correct 
It would take a few days to explain.
>>> correct  
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