¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

10/24 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-10-30 3067

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I often hope to be at a spa or get some massage for relaxing whole body when I feel tired and stressed.
I have been in the mood for a relaxing treat this week because of my work.
I had an important presentation for a conference last thursday.
I felt burdonsome and stressful preparing this presentation for recent few weeks.
Even the day before the presentaion, I couldn't sleep well because I was so nervous.
Luckily, I finished my presentation well.
After I ended my presentation, I felt comfort and tired.
So, I spent time supplementing my sleep and shopping.
As though I recieved a relaxing treat, I was refreshed and relaxed without worry.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Dr. Stella!

It is wonderful to know that if you are in a mood for some treat for yourself, you go for it. I think that is very brave and well deserved. When you are tired and feel to simply relax, soothe yourself.

Below, there are some spelling and grammar suggestions. Moreover, word forms vary when used in different positions in sentences. Hence, kindly go over the sentences carefully and make sure to note down the correct word forms. 

Excellent exposition! See you again soon!

-T. Donna~

I often hope to be at a spa or get some massage for relaxing whole body when I feel tired and stressed.
>>  I often hope to be at a spa or get some massage for relaxing the whole body when I feel tired and stressed.

I have been in the mood for a relaxing treat this week because of my work.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

I had an important presentation for a conference last thursday.
>> Correct!
Or: Thursday

I felt burdonsome and stressful preparing this presentation for recent few weeks.
>>  I felt burdensome and stressed preparing for this presentation for the recent few weeks.

Even the day before the presentaion, I couldn't sleep well because I was so nervous.
>> Correct!
Or: presentation

Luckily, I finished my presentation well.
>> Correct!

After I ended my presentation, I felt comfort and tired.
>> Correct!

So, I spent time supplementing my sleep and shopping.
>> Correct!

As though I recieved a relaxing treat, I was refreshed and relaxed without worry.
>> As I have received a relaxing treat, I was refreshed and relaxed without worries.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127396 When was the time you felt bad? What happened? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-04-12 0
127395 my favorite move is Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-04-12 1208
127394 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-04-12 0
127393 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-12 0
127392 Answer to the question about Family Dinner ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-04-12 6
127391 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-12 1032
127390 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-12 2
127389 4.12 Homework ¹Ú*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-12 756
127388 Is it worth to study abroad? Á¶*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-12 1230
127387 what makes you feel stressed?/ how do you manage your stress? ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-12 4
127386 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-12 1553
127385 What are the mistakes that you keep committing? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-12 1111
127384 Sweets are the biggest problem in my life ¹é*¾ð ¿Ï·á 2023-04-12 2
127383 What was the most beautiful dream you ever had? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-04-12 1
127382 How can you encourage more members to join your activities? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-04-12 1
127381 today\'s homework Ãß*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-12 2
127380 What did you reflect on Easter? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-04-12 1
127379 4.12 homework ±Ç*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-04-12 947
127378 ny today plan ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-12 1271
127377 Do you have a five year plan for your life? Àå*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-04-12 2063

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04