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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

woman suffrage

작성자: 김*희
2022-10-28 1315

회원님의 영작문

If women don't have the right to vote, men who make laws and rules would never represent woman's standpoint. No woman suffrage, no woman's voice. Claiming woman's right or gender equality is impossible. Society that is made of man's point of view holding a dominant position can't look at woman in a different viewpoint which women must be existences that just play traditional roles such as just serving their husband, doing house chores, raising children and obey rules men made. The answer is woman suffrage. Men must attempting to meet women's demand. they'd let women enter into politics in order to get women's vote. Those politicians could represent women's voice. They could ultimately try to make laws for women and achieve gender equality. Giving up our suffrage could mean giving up our right of possibility to more improve our position. we must remember woman suffrage is one of the most precious heritages resulted from our seniors struggled and fought for their life to gain it. We must

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Sunny!
Thank you very much for doing your homework. I really appreciate it. I agree with what you've mentioned, that women's suffrage is important because it is a way for us to be heard and be given importance to. 
-T. Caitlyn
If women don't have the right to vote, men who make laws and rules would never represent woman's standpoint. 
>> If women don't have the right to vote, men who make laws and rules would never represent women's standpoint. 
No woman suffrage, no woman's voice. 
>> CORRECT
Claiming woman's right or gender equality is impossible.
>> Claiming women's rights or gender equality is impossible.
Society that is made of man's point of view holding a dominant position can't look at woman in a different viewpoint which women must be existences that just play traditional roles such as just serving their husband, doing house chores, raising children and obey rules men made.
>> A society that is made from a man's point of view holding a dominant position can't look at a woman in a different viewpoint where a woman's existence is for traditional roles such as just serving their husband, doing house chores, raising children and obeying rules that men made.
The answer is woman suffrage. 
>> CORRECT
Men must attempting to meet women's demand. 
>> Men must attempt to meet women's demands.
They'd let women enter into politics in order to get women's vote. 
>> They'd let women enter into politics in order to get women's votes.
Those politicians could represent women's voice. 
>> Those politicians could represent women's voices. 
They could ultimately try to make laws for women and achieve gender equality. 
>> CORRECT
Giving up our suffrage could mean giving up our right of possibility to more improve our position. 
>> Giving up our suffrage could mean giving up our right to the possibility of improving our position. 
we must remember woman suffrage is one of the most precious heritages resulted from our seniors struggled and fought for their life to gain it. 
>> We must remember that women's suffrage is one of the most precious heritages resulting from the struggles and fights of our seniors with their life to gain it. 
We must
>> We must!
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