¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think most companies look after their staff? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àü*ä
2022-10-27 1891

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It depend on the company, but most companies care their staff to a certain extend.
It is similar about welfare.
As far as I know every companies have to provide a comprehensive medical testing for staff.
And major company also provide every meals and even dormitory.
After work, even they provide leisure system like gym, ground, shopping point..
Company almost responsible about staff's life.
Like this if company provide these welfare it must be helpful their staff. Company can control staff's stress and it will make people improve efficiency.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Eun Chae!
You are right in your point of view.  Check the corrections suggested in your writing and memorize the correct patterns and spellings of words.  Try to use these sentences in class too. ^^



~T. Maine


It depend on the company, but most companies care their staff to a certain extend.
>>It depends on the company, but most companies care about their staff to a certain extent. 
It is similar about welfare.
>> It is similar to their welfare. 
As far as I know every companies have to provide a comprehensive medical testing for staff.
>> As far as I know, every company has to provide comprehensive medical testing for the staff. 
And major company also provide every meals and even dormitory.
>> And major companies also provide meals and dormitories. 
After work, even they provide leisure system like gym, ground, shopping point..
>> After work, they even provide a leisure system like the gym, play ground, and shopping areas. 
Company almost responsible about staff's life.
>> Companies are responsible for their staff's life. 
Like this if company provide these welfare it must be helpful their staff. 
>> Like this, if the company provides these things, they might be helpful to their staff's development. 
Company can control staff's stress and it will make people improve efficiency.
>> Companies can control staff's stress and it will make them work efficiently. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121021 Please correct some sentences i made :) ±è*¿Ï ¿Ï·á 2022-07-24 1292
121020 Some people think that hosting an international sports event is... À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-24 1
121019 What do you think are most people worried about these days and... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-24 3
121018 What do you think could be done to control if not decrease the... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-23 447
121017 Does your country have special food for any of the seasons? What... ±è*°â ¿Ï·á 2022-07-23 539
121016 What do you do in a typical workday in your workplace? ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-23 253
121015 How do you balance your work and personal life ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-23 2508
121014 My extended family ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-23 0
121013 An answer to the topic \"Why do some people save money and some... ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-07-23 599
121012 What is your best school memory and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-23 632
121011 Do you think having a pet is good? Why or why not? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-23 618
121010 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-23 356
121009 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-23 316
121008 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-23 304
121007 7/22 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 385
121006 What things about summer do I like most and least? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 217
121005 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 2
121004 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 254
121003 What are your feelings about shopping? Is it a pleasure or... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 361
121002 Diary ^3^ Áö*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 306

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04