¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

That¡¯s possible!

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*À±
2022-10-21 1725

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes. That's possible. Because the more social networking sites you have, the more you can focus on them and neglect real life. Then you may gradually lose friends or you may lose your grades because you cannot concentrate on your studies. Then people will be lonely.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Sheila! ^^
Thank you for the composition.
See you in our next class! :)

~ Teacher Tricia

Yes. That's possible. 
>>> CORRECT!

Because the more social networking sites you have, the more you can focus on them and neglect real life. 
>>> CORRECT!

Then you may gradually lose friends or you may lose your grades because you cannot concentrate on your studies. 
>>> CORRECT!

Then people will be lonely.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121037 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 144
121036 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 0
121035 communication ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 1
121034 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 158
121033 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 195
121032 Did you have an embarrassing trip? Can you tell me about it,... ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 365
121031 smartphone zombies ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 630
121030 Something Silly Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 1
121029 Self Introduction ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 302
121028 What was your best travel so far? Can you describe it? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 178
121027 an international sports event ³ë*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 242
121026 07.22 2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 1
121025 Do you think you can work efficiently with a transgender? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 3
121024 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 262
121023 Is drinking milk healthy for humans? Why or why not? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 177
121022 What do you usually forget to bring when you go on vacation? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 2
121021 Please correct some sentences i made :) ±è*¿Ï ¿Ï·á 2022-07-24 1278
121020 Some people think that hosting an international sports event is... À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-24 1
121019 What do you think are most people worried about these days and... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-24 3
121018 What do you think could be done to control if not decrease the... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-23 433

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04