¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

That¡¯s possible!

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*À±
2022-10-21 1680

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes. That's possible. Because the more social networking sites you have, the more you can focus on them and neglect real life. Then you may gradually lose friends or you may lose your grades because you cannot concentrate on your studies. Then people will be lonely.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Sheila! ^^
Thank you for the composition.
See you in our next class! :)

~ Teacher Tricia

Yes. That's possible. 
>>> CORRECT!

Because the more social networking sites you have, the more you can focus on them and neglect real life. 
>>> CORRECT!

Then you may gradually lose friends or you may lose your grades because you cannot concentrate on your studies. 
>>> CORRECT!

Then people will be lonely.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121394 What kind of special clothes do you want to buy recently? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-08-07 2
121393 Being a mother Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-07 2
121392 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-07 284
121391 How can you prepare for potential risks? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-06 2
121390 08.04.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-06 1
121389 Tourist 2 ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-06 0
121388 At a tourist information center ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-06 0
121387 Is there a political person/politician that you look up to? If... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-08-06 653
121386 What is your opinion about the article \"Gender Equality\"? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-08-06 231
121385 Propose ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-06 1
121384 Is it better to stay at home on holiday or go somewhere? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-08-06 478
121383 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 1396
121382 8/5 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 642
121381 Who is the best author for you? Why? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 319
121380 my favorite movie line Á¶*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 538
121379 I hate summer ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 212
121378 If you had to leave your home quickly because of danger, what... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 359
121377 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 311
121376 If you will build a simple cafe in your area, what will you do... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 918
121375 How technology has changed in my life. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 417

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04