¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Have you ever worked for a company that has implemented any innovative ideas?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-10-19 2997

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I used to work for a construction company that planned and constructed the apartment with an ergonomic design which was an innovative design then. We tried to provide houses with more comfortable and human-friendly ideas. Our company fell behind in construction experience in spite of super sound finance because our company belatedly entered the construction industry as a subsidiary of a conglomerate in Korea. We had a passion to be the first in the Korean construction industry so that we needed something innovative to tell us from other competitors or make us noteworthy, which made us focus on innovative design for houses that other companies had never considered yet.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Steve!

I appreciate the time you took to accomplish this homework. Thank you for answering the question in a detailed and coherent manner. 

You are great at making sentences and explaining the past of your previous workplace. I hope you find the minor corrections below helpful in your writing. 


Until our next class!


~ Teacher Gela



I used to work for a construction company that planned and constructed the apartment with an ergonomic design which was an innovative design then. 
>> I used to work for a construction company that planned and constructed an apartment with an ergonomic design which was innovative then. 

We tried to provide houses with more comfortable and human-friendly ideas. 
>> CORRECT

Our company fell behind in construction experience in spite of super sound finance because our company belatedly entered the construction industry as a subsidiary of a conglomerate in Korea. 
>> Our company fell behind in construction experience despite super-sound finances because it belatedly entered the construction industry as a subsidiary of a conglomerate in Korea. 

We had a passion to be the first in the Korean construction industry so that we needed something innovative to tell us from other competitors or make us noteworthy, which made us focus on innovative design for houses that other companies had never considered yet.
>> We were passionate about becoming the first in the Korean construction industry, so we needed something innovative to tell us from other competitors or make us noteworthy, which made us focus on innovative designs for houses that other companies had never considered.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125054 Why we should get married ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-25 1
125053 Have you been to the USA? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-25 0
125052 Why is the Seollal holiday very important to Koreans? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-25 2
125051 Hoarding and collecting ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-24 1
125050 My favorite a activity is skate. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-24 726
125049 Is renting a car convenient for everyone when they go to another... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-24 1
125048 Is it always needed to make replacements for something you have... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-24 1
125047 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-24 722
125046 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-24 2
125045 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-24 2
125044 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-24 761
125043 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-23 3
125042 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-23 0
125041 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-23 1813
125040 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-23 564
125039 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-23 698
125038 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-23 532
125037 Who is your favorite past government official? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-22 0
125036 Why do you think it¡¯s important to vote? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-22 0
125035 How do you think other people see you when you make a mistake? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-22 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04