¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Have you ever worked for a company that has implemented any innovative ideas?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-10-19 3453

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I used to work for a construction company that planned and constructed the apartment with an ergonomic design which was an innovative design then. We tried to provide houses with more comfortable and human-friendly ideas. Our company fell behind in construction experience in spite of super sound finance because our company belatedly entered the construction industry as a subsidiary of a conglomerate in Korea. We had a passion to be the first in the Korean construction industry so that we needed something innovative to tell us from other competitors or make us noteworthy, which made us focus on innovative design for houses that other companies had never considered yet.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Steve!

I appreciate the time you took to accomplish this homework. Thank you for answering the question in a detailed and coherent manner. 

You are great at making sentences and explaining the past of your previous workplace. I hope you find the minor corrections below helpful in your writing. 


Until our next class!


~ Teacher Gela



I used to work for a construction company that planned and constructed the apartment with an ergonomic design which was an innovative design then. 
>> I used to work for a construction company that planned and constructed an apartment with an ergonomic design which was innovative then. 

We tried to provide houses with more comfortable and human-friendly ideas. 
>> CORRECT

Our company fell behind in construction experience in spite of super sound finance because our company belatedly entered the construction industry as a subsidiary of a conglomerate in Korea. 
>> Our company fell behind in construction experience despite super-sound finances because it belatedly entered the construction industry as a subsidiary of a conglomerate in Korea. 

We had a passion to be the first in the Korean construction industry so that we needed something innovative to tell us from other competitors or make us noteworthy, which made us focus on innovative design for houses that other companies had never considered yet.
>> We were passionate about becoming the first in the Korean construction industry, so we needed something innovative to tell us from other competitors or make us noteworthy, which made us focus on innovative designs for houses that other companies had never considered.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117860 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 526
117859 Do you like to eat fruits? What\'s your favorite one and why? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 0
117858 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 434
117857 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 3
117856 What do you think is the best TV show and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 510
117855 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 562
117854 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 1
117853 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 280
117852 Things I collect. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 504
117851 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 659
117850 Do you prefer playing or watching sports? Why? ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 558
117849 Home work ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 922
117848 Baby Shark ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 775
117847 How would you describe your personality? Are you happy with your... ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 374
117846 What are your favorite desserts? And why? ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 675
117845 Tell me about the first time you went to the movie theater? ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 673
117844 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 371
117843 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 3
117842 homework ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 632
117841 The next vacation ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 5

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04