¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

10/18 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-10-19 2341

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I feel happy with daily simple things.
When I leave work, I used to talk to my mother on the phone.
I tell the events which happen in the hospital and my mother speak to me about news.
It's not a long time, but conversation with my mother gives me comfort.
On weekends, I usually sleep long time to supplement short sleep during weekdays.
After a long and deep sleep, I feel refreshed.
Also, I spend wonderful time with my family and friends during weekends.
Recently, I'm really into a drama named 'good doctor'.
It is about the growth of a doctor who has autism.
I watch the drama by one or two episodes every night.
This is like a gift for me who work very hard during daytime.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Dr. Stella!

They say that the best things in world are free- conversations with your mother, sleep, some good drama, among others. If we have simple pleasures, we can always be happy. However, sometimes, big accomplishments as well make us proud and contented. As you are a young great doctor that you are, you are your parents joy and pride.

If you take a look at the suggestions I made below, there are just a few of them such as the insertion of 'a' or 'the', and some subject-verb agreement. Read them well.

Your composition is always full of interesting information and these are stated in an artistic way. Thanks for always honing your writing skills! Carry on.

See you soon!

-T. Donna~

I feel happy with daily simple things.
>> Correct!
Or: I am happy with simple things daily.

When I leave work, I used to talk to my mother on the phone.
>> Correct!

I tell the events which happen in the hospital and my mother speak to me about news.
>> I tell the events which happen in the hospital and my mother speaks to me about the news. 

It's not a long time, but conversation with my mother gives me comfort.
>> Correct!
Or: Even not for a long time, conversations with my mother give me comfort.

On weekends, I usually sleep long time to supplement short sleep during weekdays.
>> On weekends, I usually sleep for a long time to supplement the short sleep during weekdays.

After a long and deep sleep, I feel refreshed.
>> Correct!

Also, I spend wonderful time with my family and friends during weekends.
>> Also, I spend a wonderful time with my family and friends during weekends.

Recently, I'm really into a drama named 'good doctor'.
>>  Correct!
Or: Recently, I'm really into a drama named 'Good Doctor'.

It is about the growth of a doctor who has autism.
>> Correct!

I watch the drama by one or two episodes every night.
>> Correct!

This is like a gift for me who work very hard during daytime.
>>  This is like a gift for me who works very hard during daytime.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126001 What do you like the most about that holiday? ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-26 737
126000 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-26 1059
125999 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-26 660
125998 [Writing Task] What things do you always need to bring when you... ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-25 1
125997 i had some bed storys:) À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-02-25 5
125996 Have you ever been in a difficult situation while traveling? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-02-25 659
125995 Can you talk about three things you like about yourself? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-02-25 785
125994 homework02.25 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-02-25 665
125993 How do koreans celebrate happy events? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 5
125992 my puppy is cookie ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 1926
125991 A good mother. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 631
125990 Kingking ÃÖ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 3
125989 Courteous ÃÖ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 821
125988 home work 2/23 ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 740
125987 What name would you give your robot if you had one? Why? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 625
125986 Describe a time you made an unpopular decision. How did you... ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 779
125985 Write a situation you know of or experienced that applies a... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 2
125984 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 994
125983 homework ½Å*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 2
125982 season ¹Ú*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 745

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04