¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

10/18 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-10-19 2675

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I feel happy with daily simple things.
When I leave work, I used to talk to my mother on the phone.
I tell the events which happen in the hospital and my mother speak to me about news.
It's not a long time, but conversation with my mother gives me comfort.
On weekends, I usually sleep long time to supplement short sleep during weekdays.
After a long and deep sleep, I feel refreshed.
Also, I spend wonderful time with my family and friends during weekends.
Recently, I'm really into a drama named 'good doctor'.
It is about the growth of a doctor who has autism.
I watch the drama by one or two episodes every night.
This is like a gift for me who work very hard during daytime.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Dr. Stella!

They say that the best things in world are free- conversations with your mother, sleep, some good drama, among others. If we have simple pleasures, we can always be happy. However, sometimes, big accomplishments as well make us proud and contented. As you are a young great doctor that you are, you are your parents joy and pride.

If you take a look at the suggestions I made below, there are just a few of them such as the insertion of 'a' or 'the', and some subject-verb agreement. Read them well.

Your composition is always full of interesting information and these are stated in an artistic way. Thanks for always honing your writing skills! Carry on.

See you soon!

-T. Donna~

I feel happy with daily simple things.
>> Correct!
Or: I am happy with simple things daily.

When I leave work, I used to talk to my mother on the phone.
>> Correct!

I tell the events which happen in the hospital and my mother speak to me about news.
>> I tell the events which happen in the hospital and my mother speaks to me about the news. 

It's not a long time, but conversation with my mother gives me comfort.
>> Correct!
Or: Even not for a long time, conversations with my mother give me comfort.

On weekends, I usually sleep long time to supplement short sleep during weekdays.
>> On weekends, I usually sleep for a long time to supplement the short sleep during weekdays.

After a long and deep sleep, I feel refreshed.
>> Correct!

Also, I spend wonderful time with my family and friends during weekends.
>> Also, I spend a wonderful time with my family and friends during weekends.

Recently, I'm really into a drama named 'good doctor'.
>>  Correct!
Or: Recently, I'm really into a drama named 'Good Doctor'.

It is about the growth of a doctor who has autism.
>> Correct!

I watch the drama by one or two episodes every night.
>> Correct!

This is like a gift for me who work very hard during daytime.
>>  This is like a gift for me who works very hard during daytime.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121426 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 2
121425 If you could be another man or woman for a day, who would you... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 655
121424 To what extent do you think that the educational system tries to... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 538
121423 Are you a better leader or a follower? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 850
121422 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 1005
121421 Talk about successful people you look up to, tell something... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 580
121420 Homework ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 942
121419 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 760
121418 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 949
121417 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 0
121416 Have you ever given a false excuse to get out of something you... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 761
121415 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 2
121414 Monday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 598
121413 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 3
121412 My hope ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 1
121411 Diary ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 2
121410 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 0
121409 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 992
121408 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 624
121407 Are parties or gatherings better in people¡¯s houses or in party... ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 766

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04