¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is the worst disaster in your opinion? Share your answer in a few sentences.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¿¬
2022-10-18 2433

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I realized the worst disaster to human being is the war when I heard what was happened in Ukraine. It left many casualties and collapsed buildings. Men were forced to enlist in the army, and women were raped by the enemy. It shows how creulty looks like and must not be begun.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Judy!

You are right about this man-made disaster. Raging war kills so many people from both parties. Surely, there is no winner in this case. Due to the leader's desire of stronger power, s/he places countries in peril. This is unimaginable during the 21st Century. Nevertheless, we hope that the war will end soonest.

Below are my grammar suggestions. Read each sentence carefully and spot the difference.

See you in class tomorrow!

-T. Donna~

I realized the worst disaster to human being is the war when I heard what was happened in Ukraine. 
>> I realized that the worst disaster to human beings is war when I heard what was happening in Ukraine. 

It left many casualties and collapsed buildings. 
>> Correct!

Men were forced to enlist in the army, and women were raped by the enemy. 
>> Correct!

It shows how creulty looks like and must not be begun.
>> it shows how cruelty looks like and must not continue.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117571 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 914
117570 Homework!(About beauty) À±*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 512
117569 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 390
117568 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 1083
117567 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 834
117566 Do you believe that dreams can sometimes predict the future? Why... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 581
117565 What keeps you awake at night sometimes? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 758
117564 Writing correction ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 0
117563 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 1
117562 writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 0
117561 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 0
117560 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 0
117559 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 1
117558 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 686
117557 If you can learn another language, what would it be and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 0
117556 Do you want to change something in your appearance? Why or why... ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 476
117555 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 1
117554 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 368
117553 My grandchild ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 0
117552 For you, what language is difficult to learn? Why? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-21 877

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04