¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-10-18 2365

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello.
I was duty off this morning, so I worked out and rode a bike with my wife.
She didn't fell down even just once.
Hence, now I think she rides a bike well.
Because I worked out in the morning, now I am a little tired, but I feel very good.
I opened the window in my office room, and I feel fresh air and it makes me happier.
We sometimes are depressed and fell into mannerism.
To overcome those moods, we can move our body strongly or eat something delicious.
I think you always have plenty of energy, and I look up to you in that point.
Today's assignment is about my accomplishment.
As you know, I am totally satisfied with my family.
So, the best accomplishment is my wedding, I think.
Second one is my clinic business.
Our clinic is now famous for dermatologic medical services in this town.
However, I think meeting a good partner in our lives is more important than achieving in work.
Family is the reason that we live.
I hope you and I have a wonderful time in rest of the day.
See you

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there!

What a sweet time you had with your wife! Devoting quality time is priceless in marriage. You are a wonderful teacher that is why your wife never fell of today. I hope these kinds of activities will occupy you time more than the stress that work brings. Anyyway, we derive energy from these kinds of activities. We need to escapre from the monotony and hardships of work sometime to feel alive somehow.

For your homework answer, I strongly agree that a closely-knit family is a huge achievement since not all can have a peaceful and a happy one. In addition, your renowned clinic also provides a steady income for your family. What else can you ask for? Your life is already perfect.

I had a busy afternoon, it was fine. I wished to rest to recuperate from my sickness but some of my broadcaster friends stopped by and took some photos with me in my house. I hope you had a very good one.

Study my suggestions carefully below. I can see a very good consistency in your compostions. Keep up the strong grammar points and always heed my comments.

Good night then, Dr, Kim.

-T. Donna~

Hello.
>> Correct!

I was duty off this morning, so I worked out and rode a bike with my wife.
>> I was off duty this morning, so I worked out and rode a bike with my wife.

She didn't fell down even just once.
>> She didn't fall down even just once.

Hence, now I think she rides a bike well.
>> Hence, now I think she rides the bike well.

Because I worked out in the morning, now I am a little tired, but I feel very good.
>> Correct!

I opened the window in my office room, and I feel fresh air and it makes me happier.
>> I opened the window in my office room, and I felt the fresh air and it made me happier.

We sometimes are depressed and fell into mannerism.
>> We sometimes are depressed and fall into mannerism.
Or: We are sometimes depressed and fall into mannerisms.

To overcome those moods, we can move our body strongly or eat something delicious.
>> Correct!

I think you always have plenty of energy, and I look up to you in that point.
>> Correct!

Today's assignment is about my accomplishment.
>> Correct!

As you know, I am totally satisfied with my family.
>> Correct!

So, the best accomplishment is my wedding, I think.
>> Correct!

Second one is my clinic business.
>> The second one is my clinic business.

Our clinic is now famous for dermatologic medical services in this town.
>> Correct!

However, I think meeting a good partner in our lives is more important than achieving in work.
>> However, I think meeting a good partner in our lives is more important than achieving greatness at work.

Family is the reason that we live.
>> Correct!

I hope you and I have a wonderful time in rest of the day.
>> Correct!
Or: I hope both of us will have a wonderful time for the rest of the day.

See you
>> See you.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122217 Does the place you live have a low-stress environment? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1
122216 Would you rather go into the past or the future to meet someone... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 910
122215 What can we do to avoid depression? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 808
122214 09.06.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 3
122213 9/6 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1377
122212 9/6 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 2012
122211 Mars ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1504
122210 Homework~~ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1316
122209 Homework~~ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1504
122208 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 3441
122207 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1524
122206 What would you wish for if you saw a falling star? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1211
122205 I\'m sorry teacher but please correct as soon as posible ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1509
122204 How can the government step up more actively to rearrange... ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1
122203 What body language do you think is common in all cultures? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1
122202 Even though you may have been terrified by a particular ride,... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 924
122201 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1519
122200 Describe your dream house in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1434
122199 Coffee shop ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1
122198 Are you happy with a two-day weekend or should it be three days?... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 923

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04