¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

10/17 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-10-17 1924

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

People who meet me for the first used to say that I look kind and nice.
In fact, when I was in the elementary school, classmates said that at first it was difficult to talk to me because I was with a blank face.
So, people often misunderstood my charecteristics for the first impression, and after they got along with me, they changed their minds.
I had a chance to practice smiling.
Someone advised me that It would be great to smile showing teeth because my teeth was straight and I had a beautiful smile.
Since that time I practiced smile in front of mirror and try to smile before other people.
I think my effort works and now I could give people a good impression.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there, Dr. Stella!

Sometimes a sweet, sincere, and a warm smile is all we need to creat the best first timpression. This is true in your case. Well, the people who have been with us for a very long time know who we truly are and those we just met, we continuously try our best to win their hearts.

Anyway, there are some grammar patterns and suggestions to a few of your sentences below. Your writing contains very clear images due to the way the sentences were made. Keep up the strong sense of correctness in your composition.

See you then!

-T. Donna~

People who meet me for the first used to say that I look kind and nice.
>> People who meet me for the first time used to say that I look kind and nice.

In fact, when I was in the elementary school, classmates said that at first it was difficult to talk to me because I was with a blank face.
>> Correct!
Or: In fact, when I was in the elementary school, my classmates said that at first,  it was difficult to talk to me because I was with a blank face.

So, people often misunderstood my charecteristics for the first impression, and after they got along with me, they changed their minds.
>> Correct!

I had a chance to practice smiling.
>> Correct!

Someone advised me that It would be great to smile showing teeth because my teeth was straight and I had a beautiful smile.
>> Someone advised me that it would be great to smile showing teeth because my teeth are straight and I have a beautiful smile.

Since that time I practiced smile in front of mirror and try to smile before other people.
>>Since that time,  I practiced smiling in front of the mirror and tried to smile before other people.

I think my effort works and now I could give people a good impression.
>> Correct!
Or: I think my efforts work and now, I could give people a good impression.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125115 26.Jan.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-27 1
125114 What would you do if you became the richest person on Earth? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-27 749
125113 1. Do you prefer watching movies at the cinema or on TV? 2. What... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-27 1
125112 talk about the song you last sang. ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-27 690
125111 1/26 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-01-27 658
125110 What do people from other countries usually think of when they... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 686
125109 2023-1/26 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 643
125108 Do you know how to overcome fear? What is the best way? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 816
125107 What do you fear missing out on the most? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 4
125106 Gathering ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 785
125105 A financial problem. ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 760
125104 Would you rather shop online or go to the physical store? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 3
125103 Our personality is change living conditions. ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 622
125102 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 681
125101 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 701
125100 I think the most overrated holiday is¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 601
125099 What do you think is the best movie from your country? Why? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 635
125098 Do you think there should be a world holiday for everyone on... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 594
125097 Homework from the Feedback (3) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 598
125096 What is the best way to deal with feelings of anger? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 596

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04