¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

10/17 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-10-17 2031

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

People who meet me for the first used to say that I look kind and nice.
In fact, when I was in the elementary school, classmates said that at first it was difficult to talk to me because I was with a blank face.
So, people often misunderstood my charecteristics for the first impression, and after they got along with me, they changed their minds.
I had a chance to practice smiling.
Someone advised me that It would be great to smile showing teeth because my teeth was straight and I had a beautiful smile.
Since that time I practiced smile in front of mirror and try to smile before other people.
I think my effort works and now I could give people a good impression.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there, Dr. Stella!

Sometimes a sweet, sincere, and a warm smile is all we need to creat the best first timpression. This is true in your case. Well, the people who have been with us for a very long time know who we truly are and those we just met, we continuously try our best to win their hearts.

Anyway, there are some grammar patterns and suggestions to a few of your sentences below. Your writing contains very clear images due to the way the sentences were made. Keep up the strong sense of correctness in your composition.

See you then!

-T. Donna~

People who meet me for the first used to say that I look kind and nice.
>> People who meet me for the first time used to say that I look kind and nice.

In fact, when I was in the elementary school, classmates said that at first it was difficult to talk to me because I was with a blank face.
>> Correct!
Or: In fact, when I was in the elementary school, my classmates said that at first,  it was difficult to talk to me because I was with a blank face.

So, people often misunderstood my charecteristics for the first impression, and after they got along with me, they changed their minds.
>> Correct!

I had a chance to practice smiling.
>> Correct!

Someone advised me that It would be great to smile showing teeth because my teeth was straight and I had a beautiful smile.
>> Someone advised me that it would be great to smile showing teeth because my teeth are straight and I have a beautiful smile.

Since that time I practiced smile in front of mirror and try to smile before other people.
>>Since that time,  I practiced smiling in front of the mirror and tried to smile before other people.

I think my effort works and now I could give people a good impression.
>> Correct!
Or: I think my efforts work and now, I could give people a good impression.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120478 Can curfews lead to arguments between parents and teens? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 377
120477 Who is the person that you admire the most? . ¹é*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 799
120476 What do you both like doing with your closest friend? ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 443
120475 Is it always necessary for a married couple to have kids? ¹é*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 503
120474 What was the last thing you returned or exchanged? Why?/ How... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 2
120473 What is your daily routine? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 396
120472 Do you think people make bad decisions because of peer pressure?... Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 738
120471 Which is better, renting or buying? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 4
120470 Who influenced you the most in life? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 1030
120469 homework À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 512
120468 What are the advantages and disadvantages of working with a... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 431
120467 Who in your family or among your friends has the most... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 184
120466 What and who are your major influences for having your recent... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 433
120465 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 180
120464 How much time do you spend listening to music? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 212
120463 7/5 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 227
120462 Which artists/bands do you want to see at a music festival? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 216
120461 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 2
120460 What new hobbies would you like to try? ±è*°â ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 242
120459 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04