¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

10/17 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-10-17 1910

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

People who meet me for the first used to say that I look kind and nice.
In fact, when I was in the elementary school, classmates said that at first it was difficult to talk to me because I was with a blank face.
So, people often misunderstood my charecteristics for the first impression, and after they got along with me, they changed their minds.
I had a chance to practice smiling.
Someone advised me that It would be great to smile showing teeth because my teeth was straight and I had a beautiful smile.
Since that time I practiced smile in front of mirror and try to smile before other people.
I think my effort works and now I could give people a good impression.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there, Dr. Stella!

Sometimes a sweet, sincere, and a warm smile is all we need to creat the best first timpression. This is true in your case. Well, the people who have been with us for a very long time know who we truly are and those we just met, we continuously try our best to win their hearts.

Anyway, there are some grammar patterns and suggestions to a few of your sentences below. Your writing contains very clear images due to the way the sentences were made. Keep up the strong sense of correctness in your composition.

See you then!

-T. Donna~

People who meet me for the first used to say that I look kind and nice.
>> People who meet me for the first time used to say that I look kind and nice.

In fact, when I was in the elementary school, classmates said that at first it was difficult to talk to me because I was with a blank face.
>> Correct!
Or: In fact, when I was in the elementary school, my classmates said that at first,  it was difficult to talk to me because I was with a blank face.

So, people often misunderstood my charecteristics for the first impression, and after they got along with me, they changed their minds.
>> Correct!

I had a chance to practice smiling.
>> Correct!

Someone advised me that It would be great to smile showing teeth because my teeth was straight and I had a beautiful smile.
>> Someone advised me that it would be great to smile showing teeth because my teeth are straight and I have a beautiful smile.

Since that time I practiced smile in front of mirror and try to smile before other people.
>>Since that time,  I practiced smiling in front of the mirror and tried to smile before other people.

I think my effort works and now I could give people a good impression.
>> Correct!
Or: I think my efforts work and now, I could give people a good impression.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121454 If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-09 798
121453 08.09 ¼÷Á¦ ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-09 8
121452 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-09 2
121451 Why are \"GREETINGS\" important before we start a conversation?... ¹Ú*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-09 736
121450 What are natural disasters? Have you ever experienced a natural... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-09 783
121449 08.09.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-09 4
121448 We are often told that \"you can¡¯t buy happiness\". If you were... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-09 424
121447 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-09 585
121446 Talk about the things you like about the city you live in. It... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-08-09 751
121445 What was the best realization you had in the last two months? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-09 1
121444 If your life was in danger, who would you call and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-09 208
121443 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-09 412
121442 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-09 625
121441 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-09 309
121440 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-09 158
121439 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-09 0
121438 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-09 3
121437 Should you always do sports? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-09 1365
121436 Why is English fluency significant for you? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-09 2
121435 08.08.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-09 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04