¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-10-17 2201

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Good evening, T. Donna.
It was not too busy in my clinic today.
Today, we have three new members, but one of them resigned a few hours later.
Because we have enough numbers of staff, it's not a serious problem, I think.
Last weekend, I did nothing to special and just took a rest in most of the time.
Thus, I thought I would be recharged, but I don't have energy all day.
Maybe I am sick of all my work these days.
However, It will be alright.
That's because I can open the roof of my car tonight.
I am looking forward to that moment.
About taking a risk, as we grow older, most of us would like to be stable.
When we were young, we don't have many things to concern.
We still had another chance, and unless we would be succeeded, we could find other things.
That's because we were not responsible for my family, and there was nothing to lose.
However, as you know, Dr. MJ and I decided to take a big risk to move our clinic.
It's a wonderful challenge.
Now I should get going.
See you tomorrow.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello! Good afternoon, Dr. Kim!

How's your clinic today? I hope that everything works according to your expectations. You have to pray at the start of the day to achieve your daily goals towards your new clinic. Anyway, I hope that you are fully charged to face all the adversities and challenges of Tuesday.

As we grow older, we want to avoid taking risks becuase we have the knack to foresee results in the future. However, this limits our growth and hampers our skills from growing. Hence, as e grow older, for me, it's better to be bolder than ever to get what we want in life.

Time is the most crcial thing as we age. So if we never risked it, we can never be full happy in this life time.

Your compositon has your own style and pattern I am excited to read always. Then, go over my grammar suggestions religiously.

Have a great lunch and stay focused for the rest of the afternoon.

-T. Donna~

Good evening, T. Donna.
>> Correct!

It was not too busy in my clinic today.
>> Correct!

Today, we have three new members, but one of them resigned a few hours later.
>> Corerct!

Because we have enough numbers of staff, it's not a serious problem, I think.
>> Correct!

Last weekend, I did nothing to special and just took a rest in most of the time.
>> Last weekend, I did nothing too special and just took a rest most of the time.

Thus, I thought I would be recharged, but I don't have energy all day.
>> Correct!

Maybe I am sick of all my work these days.
>> Correct!

However, It will be alright.
>> Correct!
Or: However, it will be alright.

That's because I can open the roof of my car tonight.
>> Correct!

I am looking forward to that moment.
>> Correct!

About taking a risk, as we grow older, most of us would like to be stable.
>> Correct!

When we were young, we don't have many things to concern.
>> When we were young, we don't have many things to concern ourselves with.

We still had another chance, and unless we would be succeeded, we could find other things.
>> We still had another chance, and unless we would succeed, we could find other things.

That's because we were not responsible for my family, and there was nothing to lose.
>> That's because we were not responsible for our  family, and there was nothing to lose.

However, as you know, Dr. MJ and I decided to take a big risk to move our clinic.
>> Correct!

It's a wonderful challenge.
>> Correct!

Now I should get going.
>> Correct!

See you tomorrow.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128464 What are the best and worst things about being wealthy? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 4
128463 What advice would you give to a friend who is trying to overcome... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 1291
128462 What are the possible reasons for missing deadlines? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 1
128461 homework ¾È*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 1627
128460 What I like when I have free time ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 1411
128459 What language do you want to learn and why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 916
128458 Should the death sentence be implemented globally? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 1210
128457 Jealous. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 2911
128456 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 1
128455 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 1078
128454 What kind of instant food do you enjoy? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 0
128453 What are the advantages and disadvantages of the popularity of... ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 1108
128452 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 1951
128451 Do you think you are good at adapting to new changes? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 1470
128450 Greeting kind that annoys me ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 1563
128449 Send a written output about your part-time job in a few... ÀÓ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 2
128448 Traveling alone ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 1341
128447 5/25 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 1288
128446 The characteristics of territory ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 1224
128445 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 1700

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04