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영작교정 게시판

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서비스 입니다.

In your opinion, how can South Korea promote freedom of expression and mutual understanding despite

작성자: 황*하
2022-10-17 2351

회원님의 영작문

People are interested in equality the most these days, followed by freedom of speech. There are a lot of freedom which are freedom of speech, religion, press, and assembly under the national law. It must be guaranteed by the law because it is the basic element to live in our nations. Our ancesters were faught to get those freedom and died a lot. We can't imagine how they had a hard time and how difficult it is to get what they wanted. All people consider it for granted but there are few countries which don't allow people to express their idea freely. For example, North Korea, China and Arabic countries don't guarantee it because of their system. I have seen a video about life in NK, they were really careful to talk each other even at their home because all conversation were monitered by surveillants. In Korea, we are guaranteed most freedom as a basic right, but things about NK consider as a dangerous things because Korea is only one country which was seperated in two.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

People are interested in equality the most these days, followed by freedom of speech. 
>> CORRECT! 
There are a lot of freedom which are freedom of speech, religion, press, and assembly under the national law. 
>> There are different kinds of freedom which are freedom of speech, religion, press, and assembly under the national law. 
It must be guaranteed by the law because it is the basic element to live in our nations. 
>> CORRECT! 
Our ancesters were faught to get those freedom and died a lot. 
>> Our ancestors fought for freedom, that even caused their lives.
We can't imagine how they had a hard time and how difficult it is to get what they wanted. 
>> CORRECT! 
All people consider it for granted but there are few countries which don't allow people to express their idea freely.
>> CORRECT! 
 For example, North Korea, China and Arabic countries don't guarantee it because of their system. 
>> CORRECT! 
I have seen a video about life in NK, they were really careful to talk each other even at their home because all conversation were monitered by surveillants. 
>> I have seen a video about life in NK, they were really careful to talk to each other even at their home because all conversations were monitored by surveillance. 
In Korea, we are guaranteed most freedom as a basic right, but things about NK consider as a dangerous things because Korea is only one country which was seperated in two.
>> CORRECT! 

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