무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Would the world be a safer place without nuclear weapons?

작성자: 황*하
2022-10-17 2462

회원님의 영작문

I don't have to mention about the world without nuclear weapons. I am sure that we can live under the much safer places. Radiation only needs in medical fields and industrial areas which diagnose diseases in human body and inspect proper products. It is true that radiation can help us finding diseases that lead to fast treatment before it becomes more severe. However, if it uses in military purposes, our nations will be disappeared in our planet. We have seen the effect of nuclear weapon in Japan. There are still a lot of people who have been suffering from the side effect of nuclear bomb. Although, some victims are affected far from the middle of explosion, they might have a possibility of cancer because it's special characteristic. There are radiation in anywhere from ground to sky, so humans are exposed to it anytime even though, it is a small amount, there will be some risk of cancer according to the total doses which humans receive. So, we have to try to reduce the dose even in me

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille
I don't have to mention about the world without nuclear weapons. 
>> CORRECT! 
I am sure that we can live under the much safer places. 
>> CORRECT! 
Radiation only needs in medical fields and industrial areas which diagnose diseases in human body and inspect proper products. 
>> Radiation is only needed in medical fields and industrial areas which diagnose diseases in human body and inspect proper products. 
It is true that radiation can help us finding diseases that lead to fast treatment before it becomes more severe. 
>> CORRECT! 
However, if it uses in military purposes, our nations will be disappeared in our planet. 
>> However, if it is used for military purposes, our nations will disappear in our planet. 
We have seen the effect of nuclear weapon in Japan. 
>> CORRECT! 
There are still a lot of people who have been suffering from the side effect of nuclear bomb.
>> CORRECT! 
 Although, some victims are affected far from the middle of explosion, they might have a possibility of cancer because it's special characteristic. 
>>  Although, some victims are affected far from the middle of explosion, they might have a possibility of cancer because it has a special characteristic. 
OR >>  Although, some victims are affected far from the middle of explosion, they might have a possibility of cancer because of its special characteristic. 
There are radiation in anywhere from ground to sky, so humans are exposed to it anytime even though, it is a small amount, there will be some risk of cancer according to the total doses which humans receive. 
>> There's radiation in anywhere from ground to sky, so humans are exposed to it anytime; even though it is a small amount, there will be some risk of cancer according to the total doses which humans receive. 
So, we have to try to reduce the dose even in me
>> So, we have to try to reduce the dose even in medications.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
117627 Why I like more bacon than egg bokkeumbab. 김*성 완료 2022-03-23 993
117626 How I keep clean my room 김*성 완료 2022-03-23 514
117625 homework 이*주 완료 2022-03-23 379
117624 Writing Task(Mar 22th, 2022) 남*승 완료 2022-03-23 379
117623 Writing Task(Mar 21th, 2022) 남*승 완료 2022-03-23 337
117622 Answer to \"What food do you not like to eat?\" 반*영 완료 2022-03-23 0
117621 I would appreciate it if you could check the sentence below. 신*교 완료 2022-03-23 524
117620 homework 박*윤 완료 2022-03-23 507
117619 Homework 박*윤 완료 2022-03-23 204
117618 Why do many people from different parts of the world want to... 장*수 완료 2022-03-23 705
117617 What culture in South Korea would you like to change and why? 황*별 완료 2022-03-23 205
117616 1. How is society treating men in sports that are considered... 김*진 완료 2022-03-23 5
117615 What culture in South Korea would you like to change and why? 신*섭 완료 2022-03-23 1056
117614 Which greeting kind of annoys you? 오*빈 완료 2022-03-22 503
117613 What is the role of the government in providing more job... 김*진 완료 2022-03-22 5
117612 What is your goal in 5 years? 김*규 완료 2022-03-22 4
117611 3/22 homework 이*유 완료 2022-03-22 1071
117610 Why do you enjoy learning English? 최*서 완료 2022-03-22 965
117609 HOMEWORK 박*민 완료 2022-03-22 1
117608 Studying abraod 이*경 완료 2022-03-22 714

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]