¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-10-15 1670

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Happy Saturday!
How is it going? Is your feeling getting better?
Yesterday, I had a meeting with my friend who is a CEO of interior business.
He worked for the interior of the current clinic, and will work for that of new clinic.
Although he is older than me(10 years), he is so kind and get along with me well.
As we discussed about the interior, we, of course, had some delicious foods with alcohol.
There is a good restaurant which is famous of raw fish near my home and clinic.
I love the raw fish there.
But, Don't worry.
I just had Somaek a little; Somaeg means Soju plus Maekjoo(beer).
Back to the homework, we have to face many risks as we live.
Dr. MJ and I took a risk that we will move to other place for my clinic.
For another example, I bought a house.
Recently, the expense of the house went down.
But, I am sure both of them will be better.
Of course, we must avoid from bad things like gamble.
If we are sure of something, we would better do that, I think.
See you Monday~

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, happy Saturday indeed, Dr. Kim!

Everything's doing great! I emceed a festival today and there were around more than 1,500 people in the park. COVID-19 is really over. Making people happy and enjoying the program is one of my favorite things to do. Right after, me and my son went for samgyeupsal and hang out in the mall. My son scratched lucky tickets and he won a small amount of money, what a lucky day!

Anyway, meeting your CEO friend means that your business is rolling and you really have a very good circle of friends. I hope that your new clinic interior will be comfortable and will attract clients to visit. Meeting a good friend is always the best with sumptuous food and some moderate amount of liquor.

Meanwhile, taking some risks are needed in our lives. While many want to take the safe and comfortable road, there are a few just like you who is brave to take the risk. They say that the higher the risk, the higher the prize. I agree with this. If we dream big, we may succeed big and if our dreams are small, vice versa. You are so courageous together with Dr. MJ. In time, the return of all of your investments will pay off.

Thank you for your well-organized and excellently transitioned ideas. The thoughts of your essay is flowing very smoothly and that is due to your correct grammar and carefully chosen words. In one of your sentences, you used commas so efficiently, awesome job! So, please study carefully some of my suggestions in grammar. 

Have a peaceful rest day tomorrow. Good night!

-T. Donna~

Happy Saturday!
>> Correct!

How is it going? Is your feeling getting better?
>> Correct!

Yesterday, I had a meeting with my friend who is a CEO of interior business.
>> Yesterday, I had a meeting with my friend who is a CEO of an interior business.

He worked for the interior of the current clinic, and will work for that of new clinic.
>> He worked for the interior of the current clinic, and will work for that of the new clinic.

Although he is older than me(10 years), he is so kind and get along with me well.
>> Although he is older than me(10 years), he is so kind and gets along with me well.

As we discussed about the interior, we, of course, had some delicious foods with alcohol.
>> Correct! Perfect use of commas! 

There is a good restaurant which is famous of raw fish near my home and clinic.
>> There is a good restaurant which is famous for raw fish near my home and clinic.

I love the raw fish there.
>> Correct!

But, Don't worry.
>> Correct!
Or: But, don't worry.
Or: Don't worry.

I just had Somaek a little; Somaeg means Soju plus Maekjoo(beer).
>> Correct!
Or: I just had a little Somaek; Somaeg means Soju plus Maekjoo (beer).

Back to the homework, we have to face many risks as we live.
>> Correct!

Dr. MJ and I took a risk that we will move to other place for my clinic.
>> Correct!

For another example, I bought a house.
>> Correct!

Recently, the expense of the house went down.
>> Correct!

But, I am sure both of them will be better.
>> Correct!

Of course, we must avoid from bad things like gamble.
>> Of course, we must avoid bad things like gambling.

If we are sure of something, we would better do that, I think.
>> Correct!

See you Monday~
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122691 How has your health changed when you were younger compared to... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 1206
122690 Do you think colors affect your mood? How? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 1774
122689 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 1462
122688 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 1162
122687 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 1
122686 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 1349
122685 What benefits and drawbacks do you think working abroad has? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 1119
122684 Distance ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 0
122683 Hi Gemma ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 1572
122682 media ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 1852
122681 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 1456
122680 How do you stay cool in the summer? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 1
122679 9/28 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 1041
122678 Food ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-28 1260
122677 09.28.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-28 2
122676 Home ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-28 1255
122675 9/28 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-28 1411
122674 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-28 1686
122673 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-28 0
122672 If you could draw an image to describe your personality, what... ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-28 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04