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homework

작성자: 김*우
2022-10-15 1935

회원님의 영작문

Happy Saturday!
How is it going? Is your feeling getting better?
Yesterday, I had a meeting with my friend who is a CEO of interior business.
He worked for the interior of the current clinic, and will work for that of new clinic.
Although he is older than me(10 years), he is so kind and get along with me well.
As we discussed about the interior, we, of course, had some delicious foods with alcohol.
There is a good restaurant which is famous of raw fish near my home and clinic.
I love the raw fish there.
But, Don't worry.
I just had Somaek a little; Somaeg means Soju plus Maekjoo(beer).
Back to the homework, we have to face many risks as we live.
Dr. MJ and I took a risk that we will move to other place for my clinic.
For another example, I bought a house.
Recently, the expense of the house went down.
But, I am sure both of them will be better.
Of course, we must avoid from bad things like gamble.
If we are sure of something, we would better do that, I think.
See you Monday~

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, happy Saturday indeed, Dr. Kim!

Everything's doing great! I emceed a festival today and there were around more than 1,500 people in the park. COVID-19 is really over. Making people happy and enjoying the program is one of my favorite things to do. Right after, me and my son went for samgyeupsal and hang out in the mall. My son scratched lucky tickets and he won a small amount of money, what a lucky day!

Anyway, meeting your CEO friend means that your business is rolling and you really have a very good circle of friends. I hope that your new clinic interior will be comfortable and will attract clients to visit. Meeting a good friend is always the best with sumptuous food and some moderate amount of liquor.

Meanwhile, taking some risks are needed in our lives. While many want to take the safe and comfortable road, there are a few just like you who is brave to take the risk. They say that the higher the risk, the higher the prize. I agree with this. If we dream big, we may succeed big and if our dreams are small, vice versa. You are so courageous together with Dr. MJ. In time, the return of all of your investments will pay off.

Thank you for your well-organized and excellently transitioned ideas. The thoughts of your essay is flowing very smoothly and that is due to your correct grammar and carefully chosen words. In one of your sentences, you used commas so efficiently, awesome job! So, please study carefully some of my suggestions in grammar. 

Have a peaceful rest day tomorrow. Good night!

-T. Donna~

Happy Saturday!
>> Correct!

How is it going? Is your feeling getting better?
>> Correct!

Yesterday, I had a meeting with my friend who is a CEO of interior business.
>> Yesterday, I had a meeting with my friend who is a CEO of an interior business.

He worked for the interior of the current clinic, and will work for that of new clinic.
>> He worked for the interior of the current clinic, and will work for that of the new clinic.

Although he is older than me(10 years), he is so kind and get along with me well.
>> Although he is older than me(10 years), he is so kind and gets along with me well.

As we discussed about the interior, we, of course, had some delicious foods with alcohol.
>> Correct! Perfect use of commas! 

There is a good restaurant which is famous of raw fish near my home and clinic.
>> There is a good restaurant which is famous for raw fish near my home and clinic.

I love the raw fish there.
>> Correct!

But, Don't worry.
>> Correct!
Or: But, don't worry.
Or: Don't worry.

I just had Somaek a little; Somaeg means Soju plus Maekjoo(beer).
>> Correct!
Or: I just had a little Somaek; Somaeg means Soju plus Maekjoo (beer).

Back to the homework, we have to face many risks as we live.
>> Correct!

Dr. MJ and I took a risk that we will move to other place for my clinic.
>> Correct!

For another example, I bought a house.
>> Correct!

Recently, the expense of the house went down.
>> Correct!

But, I am sure both of them will be better.
>> Correct!

Of course, we must avoid from bad things like gamble.
>> Of course, we must avoid bad things like gambling.

If we are sure of something, we would better do that, I think.
>> Correct!

See you Monday~
>> Correct!
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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