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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Write down a novel story you know!

작성자: 김*율
2022-10-13 2978

회원님의 영작문

There was a princess named Hennepin. And there was a prince named Napoleon. Hennepin and Napoleon lived in Kingdom Aurora. Hennepin had blond, long hair with slim arms and legs, and twinkling indigo eyes and red lips. Napoleon had blond, short hair with armors that fit, and a slightly fierce hint in those deep black eyes. He always carried a sharp sword to help Hennepin every time. Hennepin was riding a whiite pony with gold hooves and manes. Suddenly the pony sprinted away to the cave Hennepin found and shoved the door. Then with a creepy crack, the cave door locked and Hennepin fell into the deep pit behind her. As Hennepin woke up, she no longer was in the pit. But she was in sweaty palms of a brave boy. It was Napoleon! he had heard the alert and with panic powers, he had bashed through the cove! With Hennepin in one arm, he ran out of the cove, and when he was at the entrance, he threw his sword. He had slayed a serpent. Who knows if hose two married after they grew up? *ROMANCE*~

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Heather! I appreciate your effort in making your own novel in this composition. Keep up the good work! I'll see you in class. ~ T. Lyn
There was a princess named Hennepin. 
>>Correct.
And there was a prince named Napoleon. 
>>Correct.
Hennepin and Napoleon lived in Kingdom Aurora. 
>>Hennepin and Napoleon lived in the kingdom of Aurora.
Hennepin had blond, long hair with slim arms and legs, and twinkling indigo eyes and red lips. 
>>Hennepin had blonde, long hair, slender limbs, shiny blue eyes, and red lips.
Napoleon had blond, short hair with armors that fit, and a slightly fierce hint in those deep black eyes.
>>Napoleon had blonde, short hair, and a piece of armor that perfectly fits his body and a little ferocity in his deep dark eyes.
He always carried a sharp sword to help Hennepin every time. 
>>He always carried a sharp sword to help and to save Hennepin.
Hennepin was riding a whiite pony with gold hooves and manes. 
>>Hennepin was riding a white pony with blonde hooves and a mane.
Suddenly the pony sprinted away to the cave Hennepin found and shoved the door. 
>>Suddenly, the pony sprinted away to the cave Hennepin had discovered and pushed the door.
Then with a creepy crack, the cave door locked and Hennepin fell into the deep pit behind her. 
>>Then the cave door was locked with a creepy crack, and Hennepin fell into the deep pit behind her.
As Hennepin woke up, she no longer was in the pit. 
>>When Hennepin woke up, she was no longer in the pit.
But she was in sweaty palms of a brave boy. 
>>But she was on the sweaty palms if a brave boy.
It was Napoleon! 
>>Correct.
he had heard the alert and with panic powers, he had bashed through the cove! 
>>Hearing the warning, he panicked and stormed in the cave.
With Hennepin in one arm, he ran out of the cove, and when he was at the entrance, he threw his sword. 
>>He ran out of the cave with Hennepin in one arm and threw the sword when he reached the entrance.
He had slayed a serpent. 
>>Correct. He killed the snake.
Who knows if hose two married after they grew up? 
>>Who knows if Hennepin and Napoleon grew up and got married?
*ROMANCE*~
>>This is a romantic novel.
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