¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How long have you known your best friend and what do you like most about him or her?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*°æ
2022-10-13 1957

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Her name is Eun-hwa Park and we have been best friend with each other since when were in college.
She has a lot of positives in many ways. Amont them, I'd like to comment just one. she is down to earth that's why she has a lot of good friends and coworkers. I really look up to her this personalility. Even if there is a hard time on her life, she never disapoint about that. For example, when she had a breast cancer a couple years age, she rather thanked to God about the situation and could be treated with trust and humility. Finally she was able to cure completely.
Her personality has been inflenced of her occupation. She is a nurse like me and working to a nursing home. Owing to her mindset, many elderly patients feel comfort.
She is an asset in my life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jane!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


Her name is Eun-hwa Park and we have been best friend with each other since when were in college.

>> Her name is Eun-hwa Park and we have been best friends since when we were in college.


She has a lot of positives in many ways. 

>> CORRECT!

Amont them, I'd like to comment just one. she is down to earth that's why she has a lot of good friends and coworkers. 

>> Among them, I'd like to comment on just one,  she is down to earth that's why she has a lot of good friends and coworkers. 

I really look up to her this personalility. 

>> I really look up to her with that personality. 

Even if there is a hard time on her life, she never disapoint about that. 

>> Even if there is a hard time in her life, she is never disappointed about that. 

For example, when she had a breast cancer a couple years age, she rather thanked to God about the situation and could be treated with trust and humility. 

>> For example, when she had breast cancer a couple years ago, she rather thanked God about the situation and believed she could be treated with trust and humility.

Finally she was able to cure completely.

>> Finally she was healed completely.


Her personality has been inflenced of her occupation. 

>> Her personality has influenced her occupation. 

She is a nurse like me and working to a nursing home. 

>> She is a nurse like me and working in a nursing home. 

Owing to her mindset, many elderly patients feel comfort.

>> CORRECT!


She is an asset in my life.

>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125624 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 0
125623 What kind of information are you comfortable releasing to the... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 854
125622 What do you picture yourself doing 10 years from now? ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 615
125621 Homework ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1
125620 What is your favorite all-time game? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 669
125619 Has China sent spy balloons to your country? Share your answer... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 3
125618 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 0
125617 Best memory in the sky ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 2
125616 Have gun at home is very dangerous. ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 589
125615 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1
125614 WRITING TASK: Do you think the type of vacation one takes... ¹Ú*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 618
125613 moms ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 836
125612 Homework ¹è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 577
125611 Which country would you NOT like to visit? Why? Àå*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 637
125610 My work environment ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 2
125609 13.Feb.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1
125608 1. land animals 2. rabbit ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 2
125607 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 778
125606 if i can change my life À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 785
125605 What\'s your thought on companies having office uniforms? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04