¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you ever feel like you are just wasting your time? What activities do you think are not worth you

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-10-13 6287

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was a student, most of time I used to play the computer game. If I think about it now, it's a waste of time. If I couldn't do it, for me to make a lot of memories with my important people.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for your answer to this homework, Elic. Nice effort, and thank you as well for sharing something personal. There were just some misplaced words in some sentences, take note of where I placed them in the corrections that I gave. I also added a few words to complete the thought of some sentences. Other than those, you did quite a good job! Keep it up, my bright student! :)

- Teacher Raven 


When I was a student, most of time I used to play the computer game.
>> When I was a student, I spend most of my time playing computer games.
If I think about it now, it's a waste of time.
>> Correct.
If I couldn't do it, for me to make a lot of memories with my important people. 
>> If I didn't do that, I would've made a lot of memories with the important people in my life.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130198 What is the main things of behavior ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 0
130197 Being a role model ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 0
130196 How does behavior change across different life stages, from... Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 2033
130195 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 1931
130194 What\'s your thought on cliques in schools? Would you want to... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 2
130193 homework 08.14 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 2748
130192 What and who are your major influences for having your recent... Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 3432
130191 Would you rather have a dog or cat? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 1327
130190 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 2618
130189 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 2404
130188 My own way to relieve stress ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 2158
130187 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 1884
130186 What other pharmaceutical companies do you know that have very... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 1274
130185 Was your area affected by the typhoon? How severe was the... º¹*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 2
130184 Make questions from each of these keywords: hesitate, invite,... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 4
130183 What food from another country would you like to try when given... ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 2936
130182 8/4 homework °­*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 0
130181 08.11 H.W What are the customary greetings and behaviors for... ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 1811
130180 WRITING TASK: How can having frequent internet problems affect... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 2
130179 What is the implication of having an aging population? ¹Ý* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 2826

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04