¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you ever feel like you are just wasting your time? What activities do you think are not worth you

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-10-13 6381

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was a student, most of time I used to play the computer game. If I think about it now, it's a waste of time. If I couldn't do it, for me to make a lot of memories with my important people.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for your answer to this homework, Elic. Nice effort, and thank you as well for sharing something personal. There were just some misplaced words in some sentences, take note of where I placed them in the corrections that I gave. I also added a few words to complete the thought of some sentences. Other than those, you did quite a good job! Keep it up, my bright student! :)

- Teacher Raven 


When I was a student, most of time I used to play the computer game.
>> When I was a student, I spend most of my time playing computer games.
If I think about it now, it's a waste of time.
>> Correct.
If I couldn't do it, for me to make a lot of memories with my important people. 
>> If I didn't do that, I would've made a lot of memories with the important people in my life.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131106 WRITING TASK: How would you deal with someone who asks for help... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 3
131105 How do you show your appreciation to people you are thankful for? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1
131104 What is an earthquake and how does it devastate a country both... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1
131103 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1900
131102 HOMEWORK 3 ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 2171
131101 What other measures could be implemented to improve emergency... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 2
131100 9/15 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 3427
131099 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 2168
131098 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 2291
131097 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 1624
131096 Trust needs time °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 4
131095 What makes you want to go to school? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 1579
131094 What are the activities that you may enjoy at the park? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 3182
131093 What do you love about your city? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 2102
131092 What can you say about your English class at school? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 2067
131091 Do you want to attend an international school? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 2825
131090 Who do people need hobbies? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 2481
131089 Homework-230915 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 2
131088 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 2310
131087 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 1643

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04