¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you ever feel like you are just wasting your time? What activities do you think are not worth you

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-10-13 6403

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was a student, most of time I used to play the computer game. If I think about it now, it's a waste of time. If I couldn't do it, for me to make a lot of memories with my important people.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for your answer to this homework, Elic. Nice effort, and thank you as well for sharing something personal. There were just some misplaced words in some sentences, take note of where I placed them in the corrections that I gave. I also added a few words to complete the thought of some sentences. Other than those, you did quite a good job! Keep it up, my bright student! :)

- Teacher Raven 


When I was a student, most of time I used to play the computer game.
>> When I was a student, I spend most of my time playing computer games.
If I think about it now, it's a waste of time.
>> Correct.
If I couldn't do it, for me to make a lot of memories with my important people. 
>> If I didn't do that, I would've made a lot of memories with the important people in my life.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131510 My favorite character is always trying for dreams and taking... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 3518
131509 I don\'t know. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 2966
131508 WRITING TASK: What kind of meeting do you always want to attend? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 4
131507 Soccer ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 3455
131506 Letter ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 1
131505 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-08 2715
131504 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-08 3615
131503 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-08 2694
131502 How was my fishing ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-08 3358
131501 A few extra hours in a day ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-08 2661
131500 Making a reservation. ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-08 0
131499 Trip ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-08 1
131498 HOMEWORK-231006 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-08 1
131497 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-07 2
131496 Describe a party you attended. ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-07 1
131495 Are ther any books that have had a profound impact on your life... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-10-07 3025
131494 Are you happy with the programs on TV nowadays? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 2795
131493 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 3603
131492 WRITING TASK: Who do you want to go to a cinema with? Why? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 4
131491 Do you think electricity is the greatest invention ever? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04