¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Claire\'s Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¿¬
2022-10-12 1673

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What do you think is the worst invention of mankind?
I think the worst invention is the gun.
Guns are often abused for crimes, terrorism, etc. I can hear a lot of news about accidents that are related to guns.
Governments stipulate the use of guns, but bad things happen regardless of the rules or hopes.
Also, guns are used as the most common weapons in war.
In my opinion, guns perhaps made the situation worse. If guns weren't invented, fewer people could have lost their lives.
Not only humans, guns are killing animals too.
Guns are used for hunting animals.
I hope no more people gets hurt of lose their lives because of guns.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Claire!
I'm so impressed! This was very close to perfection! You wrote this so well. I'm proud of your improvements. See you next week! ^^
~~Teacher Kate 

I think the worst invention is the gun.
>>CORRECT!
Guns are often abused for crimes, terrorism, etc. 
>>CORRECT!
I can hear a lot of news about accidents that are related to guns.
>>CORRECT!
Governments stipulate the use of guns, but bad things happen regardless of the rules or hopes.
>>Governments regulate the use of guns, but bad things happen regardless of the rules or limitations. 
Also, guns are used as the most common weapons in war.
>>CORRECT!
In my opinion, guns perhaps made the situation worse. 
>>CORRECT!
If guns weren't invented, fewer people could have lost their lives.
>>CORRECT!
Not only humans, guns are killing animals too.
>>CORRECT!
Guns are used for hunting animals.
>>CORRECT!
I hope no more people gets hurt of lose their lives because of guns.
>>CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123690 What kind of radio programs do you prefer to listen to? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-21 1
123689 What are the advantages of traveling by airplane? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-21 2
123688 How is attraction different than love? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-21 1
123687 bucket list ¹Ú*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-11-21 0
123686 What kind of work do you want to get from the government when... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-20 1275
123685 What does \"don\'t judge a book by its cover\" mean? Do you... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-11-20 1833
123684 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-20 1139
123683 If you were to build your own cafe, what kind of concept do you... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-11-20 2
123682 Who is the greatest woman you know? ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-11-19 1059
123681 In your opinion, why do people tell lies? How about you? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-11-19 1410
123680 Why do you think work-life balance is important? ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-11-19 1138
123679 born ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-19 1
123678 Use the following words in creative sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-11-19 1945
123677 What is the dirtiest job you could think of? Why? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-19 1533
123676 Is it always necessary for a married couple to have kids? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-19 1435
123675 What are the advantages and disadvantages of taking exams? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-19 12
123674 What are the advantages and disadvantages of using the internet? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-19 7
123673 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-19 1892
123672 My parents and me ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 1322
123671 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04